Myth 18: Having Children Brings Couples Together
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Myth 18: Having Children Brings Couples Together
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According to Johnson (2016, 124), marital satisfaction would not decrease if the child had to move back home. Parents use the period when children are away from home to improve and renew their relationships. For one, most parents have more freedom when children leave home. The transition is an ideal time to reconnect as partners and pursue life goals. The phase is redefining in the sense that spouses get to focus on themselves and experience improved relationships. The empty nest period enables one to renew their ties with their relatives. They build on the touch that existed with the family members before been the parenting commitments appeared. When the children come back, they find their parents already with a satisfying life as they have already sort purpose in equally essential things.
While during the time spent without children can feel lonely, it provides parents the chance to create shared meaning and revive their dreams. Findings reveal that partners devote the time to reconnect to draw satisfaction in marriage (Margarita Tartakovsky, 2018 par 20). If they did not have shared meaning, probably their lives would have taken different paths. The two can get to listen to their favorite songs and browse their wedding photos as a way to create shared meaning. Couples get to discover the interest of the other person and put efforts to save the relationship. Parents also use this alone time to revive their dreams of doing the things they did before giving birth. By working to rescue their marriage from the empty nest syndrome, there is now hope. As an overall outcome, changes in marriages are vivid, considering the work in reviving their dreams and creating shared meanings while alone.
Couples can find numerous ways to maintain their identities as lovers and parents without neglecting either. Maintaining a balance in marriage after childbirth can be challenging. Giving more focus to one can lead to problems in both of them. One of the ways is to focus on one another at the end of the day. After the children have already gone to bed, it is essential to spend some quality moments as a couple (Smith, 2019 par 16). Evenings can be perfect times to enjoy each other’s company without the children. It is an excellent time to snuggle, relax, and connect with your spouse to nurture a healthy relationship. The two should also find something that they both love. Getting to pursue an activity of interest can help someone enjoy their spouse’s company even as they take a break away from the children. Some exciting activities like visiting friends or walking the parks ensures they do not solely focus on parenthood.
Parents can get to implement some purposeful behaviors to improve marital satisfaction while the children are still living in the home. Partaking in a shared behavior is a perfect opportunity for couples to bond and reconnect. Involving each other in any healthy activity can help reignite marriage bliss while still living with the children. For example, they can find a common purpose in exercising and keeping fit. This will act as a good model for the children even as it increases the connection between the partners. Another way is for them to plan for meals together. At the same time, one should encourage a healthier option of the meals, not necessarily by saying it but by the outcome. Finally, partners can prepare meals in the kitchen together. Such habits create fun and ensure that everyone is involved in the activities to stay connected.
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I agree with the perspective that having children makes it possible for couples to have a decent view of themselves. Aspects such as changes in attitude and treatment among couples in the presence of their children inform the idea. For instance, a couple may practically refrain from saying sweet words to each other on ethical grounds, considering the tender ages of their children. Also, I concur with the point that children are sources of conflicts in homes. Parents should know how to handle an uprising issue that requires their immediate attention. Deviating the attention further propagates the conflict among such couples. Fundamentally, people get married or start cohabiting because they need each other’s presence, time, and care. However, this takes a different trajectory once they get children. It appears that the more the number of children a couple has, the higher the chance that they will be involved in many conflicts because they do not spend much time together as before.
Arguably, the negative attitudes linked to children are associated with women that have three or more children. By nature, women tend to be closer to children as compared to their male partners. Therefore, with more children, chances for shifting love increases significantly. The care that the woman had for her man in the past tends to reduce with parenthood. In so doing, this will be a potential cause of issues and arguments in the marriage or coupling stance. On the other hand, viewed from the financial spectrum, the presence or lack of money has a bearing on how couples behave. Homes privileged with financial freedom are happier as compared to the struggling ones.
References
Johnson, M. D. (2016). Great myths of intimate relationships: Dating, sex, and marriage. John Wiley & Sons.
Margarita Tartakovsky, M. (2018, July 8). 7 research-based principles for making marriage work. Psych Central. Retrieved from
Smith, S. (2019, December 9). 7 Tips balancing marriage and parenting without going crazy. Marriage.com. Retrieved from