The Moon Opera- Why Is Xiao Yanqiu So Preoccupied with Her Appearance?
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Xiao Yanqui is so preoccupied with her appearance for several reasons. She is a woman so she is automatically held to a certain standard, not to mention she knows shes going back on stage and this is her chance at a comeback so she wants to look like she did when she was nineteen years old, “She was determined to claw off twenty five pounds, returning to her weight of twenty years before ” (pg. 60-61). She was feeling pressure to keep up with her younger counterparts, especially, Chunlai.
As soon as Yanqui learns she is going to play Change, she immediately goes on a very strict diet plan because she has gained 25 pounds and feels she has to get back down to her performing weight. She begins to take diet pills, restrict her sleep to 5 hours per night, and eats barely anything. It had been twenty years since her last performance and she had let herself go a little so she felt she had to lose weight and be beautiful to be as good as she was twenty years ago while in her prime. “so long as she shed those twenty-five pounds, her life of that period would return. The morning light of those days would once again cast her peerless figure onto the earth” (pg. 61).
There are a couple of references to her reflection in the mirror. At one point, she was studying herself in the mirror, comparing herself to Chunlais reflection. “The contrast made her look so much older, ugly even” (pg. 65) At this point she is seriously doubting herself because of her looks; she never doubts her ability to sing though. “Xiao Yanqui felt her confidence slip away like water seeking lower ground” (pg. 65). On page 66, there is another reference to her age; she talks about Chunlai surpassing her because of her youth. She says that there is no limit to what Chunlai can do and it causes Yanqui to be jealous.
Another reference to beauty comes near the end of the novel after Yanqui gets her make-up done for the first performance. As she looks at herself in the mirror she feels that she is meant to be the character she is playing. “Xiao Yanqui stared at herself, hardly able to recognize the beauty looking back at her. Clearly, it was another woman from another world. That, she believed, was the real Xiao Yanqui, her true self” (pg. 108).
It seems as though Yanqui is her own worst enemy and her toughest critic which is evident in the references to her appearance. Her preoccupation with her looks and her weight takes away from her personal relationships. She is too self-absorbed to look at the big picture which is probably she did things like cheat on her husband and abort a second child.