Narrative Essay
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I fondly remember the New Years Eve of 2004. A small party of friends were gathered; Nick, Matt, Sam and I. We were all crowded behind the couch in Matts basement, technically in the bedroom because of the six inch thick beam overhead. Nick was winning a game of Risk and, in the name of good sportsmanship, we all celebrated by drinking copious amounts of refreshments.
Nick shouted, “I dare you to kill my armies! I will slaughter you all!” He followed this with an evil maniacal laugh.
I rose to the dare and, with a few lucky rolls of the dice, I was winning the battle to conquer the world. Nicks armies had all perished.
It was down to three when I found out why females are the better of the two sexes.
Mat had left to get more drinks, and Nick had taken over the control of his armies. Bombs were exploding and debris was flying from every angle. Bodies of dead soldiers lay scattered throughout the globe.
We were completely oblivious as Matt crept back downstairs, into the basement.
All the sudden, he screamed, “Arrrrrrgh!” He proceeded to run towards us, drinks in hand. He launched himself over the couch, failing to take the beam into account.
He sprawled over the Risk board as he landed, troops flying every which way. A large crater formed in Africa and an equal sized one formed in South America. A Coka Cola flood overwhelmed the western European lands.
Blood trickled down Matts forehead from the gash he had acquired from the beam. During his clumsy decent, Matt had kicked Sam in the face, and blood now flowed freely out of her mouth from the portion of tongue she was forced to bite off.
To this day, the armies are still scattered across Matts basement, the large craters in Africa and South America are still visible, and the stains of the flood can still be seen. In my opinion, it doesnt matter what anyone says about the sexes being equal. My New Years Eve experience has made it very clear to me that females, the so called “weaker” sex, are superior; and far less clumsy.