Till Death Do Us Part
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Till Death Do Us Part…
“…Do you John, take Will to be your husband till death do you part? I do.” At the moment, this exchange of vows might sound completely absurd to any American listening, but, in the future perhaps, these vows might become considered normal in America. Gay marriage is currently one of the most debated topics in America , with the left wing liberals proclaiming that forbidding homosexuals to wed is depriving them of their equalities and freedoms as Americans. The conservatives on the other hand preach that allowing gays to marry would tarnish one of the most valued traditions in the history of mankind. So who is right, the left or the right? Which side of the debate holds more weight in their arguments, the liberals, or the conservatives?
In order to properly understand why allowing gays to marry is such a heated topic, one must first understand not only the definition of marriage, but also the history of marriage, and the ideals behind each side of the debate. Currently in the United States, each state has its own definition of what marriage is, but to separate the chaff from the wheat, marriage in America can be paraphrased as such: the couple must consist of one man and one woman, who is 18 years of age (unless parental consent is obtained), have the mental capacity to enter into a marriage contract, are sober, have a marriage license ( which is obtained from the county clerk), and are not married to anyone else (findlaw.com). In our society, marriage is viewed as a way for two people (currently man and woman) to express their emotions for one another, emotions such as love, commitment and strength. Also, married couples receive hundreds of economic benefits such as tax breaks and visitation rights to the emergency room if their significant other is admitted. Also a married couple has traditionally been viewed as necessity to raise children who will become upstanding citizens in the American society(family.findlaw.com). After reviewing both the legal definition of marriage, and societies perception, it no longer difficult to see why gay marriage is controversial. In order for gays to be able to wed, not only would the legal definition of marriage in the United States have to change, but societies view as a whole would have to change as well in order for gay marriage to be accepted as the norm. But besides the technical issues of allowing same-sex couples to wed, referring to current laws, what are the underlying philosophical beliefs of the two sides?
First off, the conservatives are believers in tradition. So what is tradition? According to Glenn Tinder, a belief in tradition refers to individuals believing in long standing societal traditions, myths and cultures. The reasoning behind believing in traditions is that if they have been around for such a long period of time, then obviously there are important lessons for society to learn and benefit from. The left wing liberals on the other hand believe in equality and liberty for all. Or in other words that all citizens of a society should be able to share all the benefits a society has to offer equally, and have the liberty to make personal choices regarding their own life and how to live in a manner that not only best suites them, but helps grant a life of happiness
So why do the conservatives oppose the idea of same-sex couples engaging in the act of marriage? They oppose it because it goes against not only their religious beliefs, but also their belief in tradition. According to their religious doctrine, “homosexuality is morally wrong”. So if the United States believes in a thing called separation of Church and State, then why have the conservatives been able to use religion as a basis to discriminate?
The answer is because the majority of Americans are Christian, and only a small percentage of the population engage in the act of homosexuality. By appealing to the vast majority, gays have been prohibited to wed because of the majorities religious beliefs in that homosexuality in wrong in its self. How can this happen if separation of church and state is supposed to prevent this from happening? The answer is because unless overturned by the Supreme Court, whatever the majority of the American people feel is right and just, becomes the law. This why discriminatory laws in the past such as slavery and forbidding of women to the right to vote was allowed to happen. It was not until the majority of the American people felt that such laws were unjust were they overturned in favor of the minority. So what are these traditions that the conservatives believe so whole heartedly?
The first tradition is that according to the Christian faith, only man and woman should be allowed to marry and create a family. Since America was founded on the Christian beliefs and ideals, the right wingers believe this is the way it should be, for if gays are allowed to marry it will undermine the sanctity of the traditional family. (soyouwanna.com). So what is the traditional family and why is it important?
The traditional family according to the conservatives is one in which children are raised by both a mother and a father, not a father and a father. They believe it is essential to have both a father and mother present in a childs upbringing in order to raise an upstanding citizen. For in order to be a well balanced person, an individual needs the love and guidance of a man and a woman in their life . They argue that this is the way it has been for thousands of years, so how can it be wrong, if the tradition was flawed then should it would have been corrected long ago. The liberals claim that this is foolish and holds no ground in todays society because many successful and upstanding citizens have been raised by single parents. The liberals go further as to ask, “what is more important, to simply have a man and woman as parents who may or my not love and nurture a child, or instead, have two people who will love and take care of their child regardless of their sexual preference”.(Gardner, Julie). The liberals claim that there is no proof that same-sex couples are inadequate of raising a child, and this claim is nothing but a blind prejudice made by the conservatives.(Gomes, Charlene)
Another reason that the conservatives oppose same-sex couples raising children is that they fear that these children will grow up to become homosexuals like their parents. This upsets the conservatives, who believe in the Christian tradition of homosexuality being wrong in its self, so therefore, do not wish for more homosexuals in American society. The opposition claims that this is completely absurd, to claim that those who are raised by homosexuals will thereby become gay for the simple fact that they where raised by gay people is completely