Anthropologists Case
Anthropologists have long been interested in questions of being alone, in experiences of being isolated, in various kinship structures and significantly, in how ‘being alone is associated with the individualism versus collectivism debate, a debate which has held centre stage in recent discussions. On one hand, some scholars argue that individualism, whereby the individual is separate from the social group and pursuing their own goals and desires, is seen as a platform for freedom and choice. From this perspective then, being alone is seen as paving the way for self-realisation. On the other hand, however, others argue stress collectivism whereby group priority is placed over that of the individual, viewing individualism as selfish and immoral or in the words of one of this views main proponents as an ‘unnatural phenomenon (Marx: 1867). Therefore, in the first part of this essay I will discuss, through a cross-cultural examination based on the anthropological readings, of what in fact is meant by ‘being alone. For example, being alone is often associated with marriage, and this brings to light the question of why this is the case, and whether being alone can be linked to individualism. From the readings, it appears that there are different meanings of being alone that can range from being associated to isolation and alienation to ideas of personal choice and freedom. Second, I outline when being alone is acceptable, with the economic and kinship structures of a society influencing the acceptance of unmarried women or men. Thus, although there are variations in what it means to be alone, I argue that based on the readings, in most cultural contexts, it is not acceptable to be alone.
In relation to the first point, views on what it means to be alone contrast in different societies and cultures, for some being alone can be seen as positive, for others negative. Being alone, for example, can be seen as a way to establish independence and self-reliance. As Allerton (2007) suggests in her study of unmarried women in the region of Southern Manggarai, large numbers of women decide to never marry or have children, and this has been an active choice motivated by their desire to remain economically independent. For instance, they have important ritual and economic roles to play in the production of woven textiles. Allerton states that ‘being a spinster can be a kind of successful career ( 2007: 11) and so from this perspective, for Manggaria women, being alone can mean independence and freedom. The different kinship structures that exist there also mean that women would rather remain a part of their brothers family rather than get married, and as a result meaning that in this case being alone is not associated with marriage. Furthermore, unmarried women in Manggarai are not perceived by others as ‘being alone, and they do not experience any feelings of loneliness or isolation. In particular, as