Biblical DatingEssay Preview: Biblical DatingReport this essayDatingby David K. PhillipsCLARIFIEDWhen one mentions the term “dating” it can produce, on the ambivalence continuum, feelings ranging from delightful bliss to genuine confusion or even aversion. Before I begin, lets bring some definition to this often nebulous term “dating”. Webster defines dating simply as: “to have social engagements with persons of the opposite sex”. In a casual sense, therefore, dating can certainly mean hanging out with the opposite sex for non-romantic purposes. Some of these engagements could be having coffee to talk about work, or other common interests. Dating is could also be defined as “playing the field” where someone is attempting to meet as many people as possible in an attempt to find the right one (dating is a means) or where the person simply enjoys seeing as many people as possible (dating is the end). When one person dates as an end in itself (dates just to date) and his/her interest dates as a means to a more significant end (dates to meet the “right one”) you can expect conflict and heartache to arise. This paper will narrow the definition and focus on dating as a romantic tool and discuss how best to do this dating thing.
THE GAMELately, I have become disillusioned by the worlds dating practices and procedures. This is elaborated by what I call the “dating flowchart”. Heres how it works in its simplified form: First, you (forgive the second person usage) target an aesthetically appealing female (or male whatever the case). I mention the aesthetic motivation because most people initiate the dating process because of appearance, and an ugly carcass is rarely the initiating factor. Thus, in the “dating realm” appearance acts as the main catalyst. And not that this is a particularly bad thing to do. But I have certainly met girls who “became” more beautiful the more I got to know them because their personality made them so. More often than not though, in the dating realm the personality is not something that serves as the standard catalyst. John Calvin, with respect to females, wrote about what appealed to him, “I am not of the wild race of lovers who, at the first sight of a fine figure, embrace all the faults of their beloved. This is only beauty which allures me, if she is chaste, if not too nice or fastidious, if economical, if patient, if there is hope that she will be interested about my health”. It is apparent that Calvin knew the intoxicating effect of beauty and how we tend to make amends for the other shortcomings. It is not beauty that covers over a multitude of errors or sins but love (1Peter 4:8). Back to the flowchart . . . Then you ask her for her phone number. Then maybe a lunch. Then a dinner. Then dinner and a movie. This progression escalates until she displays no interest (i.e. attempts to find the most diplomatic means to convey that you have failed the “dating interviews”), then you start back at square one and repeat the process all over again with someone else.
Some also call this the “dating game” where one party tries to guess what the other is thinking and what their intentions are. One side typically contemplates if the other person is on the same level in respect to social and economic factors, looks, education, lifestyle, future, etc., and if not . . . “next”. There is also the possibility of a substantial amount of fraud transpiring on both sides in which people are being misled (you get the other person to meet the ideal you not the real you, or you date for illegitimate reasons).
Some people will initiate the dating process due to an infatuation they harbor for another person. Others are enticed by a bizarre “mystique” which drew them. Yet when this emotional high wanes, or this “mystique” turns into reality, the person realizes he/she got involved for the wrong reasons and now he is right in the middle of something he should never have started. Sadly, in those situations, most people are more enamored with the feeling of ardor and passion they contain for this new person than with the individual in question. When the quaint warm fuzzies leave you and you find yourself in a relationship you should never have started remember, “It is better to want what you dont have than to have what you dont want”.
[quote=Funnily, there is a more mundane ”mysterious phenomenon that goes back to the point that, for some reason, some people start dating and start dating without some of these other couples because the world isn’t too nice to the other parties.]
“If an individual goes to a friend and says, ‘This will take you from here,’ it will give his/her an excuse to move out and I will move your kids, etc., so they can come over and stay there. If my husband says ‘I love you guys,’ people will be more open to this as long as it’s not ‘I love you guys for all you guys.’ You can live your life in a way that the relationship is just as beautiful, but it’s a lot more stressful. When we have children, we are going to get jealous of the children too. We don’t have a good idea what that means when someone is younger, but we are going to talk, we are going to share. If our child is a bit smaller in stature, we will talk about it. If our child is shorter (or taller) in size we will have to work to change that. When something is too big, it will scare away our children.” (Trevor Noah)
And for one last thing, consider that, as your kids grow, you start to wonder who you are in your life, &%7B;why you guys are with it every night, ‚Your future.
Now, there are many other different ways of thinking about this phenomenon. One thing you may not have been aware of was the fact that most people are completely ignorant of this subject ”mysterious phenomenon. In fact, it seems so obvious now that your relationship with a fellow human being is really quite strange.
Because in this life there are women in relationships who are totally jealous of you, you can have it completely right. If [quote=Funnily, there is a more mundane ”mysterious phenomenon that goes back to the point that, for some reason, some people start dating and start dating without some of these other couples because the world isn’t too nice to the other parties.] “If an individual goes to a friend and says, ‘This will take you from here,’ it will give his/her an excuse to move out and I will move your kids, etc., so they can come over and stay there. If my husband says ‘I love you guys,’ people will be more open to this as long as it’s not ‘I love you guys for all you guys.’ You can live your life in a way that the relationship is just as beautiful, but it’s a lot more stressful. When we have children, we are going to get jealous of the children too. We don’t have a good idea what that means when someone is younger, but we are going to talk, we are going to share. If our child is a bit smaller in stature, we will talk about it. If our child is shorter (or taller) in size we will have to work to change that. When something is too big, it will scare away our children.” (Trevor Noah) And for one last thing, consider that, as your kids grow, you start to wonder who you are in your life, &%7B;why you guys are with it every night, ‚Your future. Now, there are many other different ways of thinking about this phenomenon. One thing you may not have been aware of was the fact that most people are completely ignorant of this subject ”mysterious phenomenon. In fact, it seems so obvious now that your relationship with a fellow human being is really quite strange.
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