Mentally Unstable
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I put on my fake smile everyday just for you guys. I cant tell you how Im feeling because every word I say ends up being trash and you look down on me even more. I hide my feelings so no one knows what Im going through. I dont want people to feel bad for me or give me some bogus sympathy shit. Dont feel sorry for me because everyones life is messed up one way or another. Im not asking you for some sympathy, Im just telling you about my life, my shit, and my drama.
Im sorry I cant be like other girls, but I can be myself, and Im sorry if it hurts you so much to see me like this. Thats who I am, and who I will always be. Youll just have to accept me for who I am, and if thats not good enough, I dont know what is.
Im not one of those pretty girls in the Glamour magazines. I dont have the perfect body. I dont look like every other girl you see on the streets. I wish I had my own beauty, and I do. I have inner-beauty. Thats all Ive ever needed, but I soon craved for more. Is it wrong to want more? I hope not, but yet I never got more. The faith in myself soon began to fade and I began to lose interest in myself. I started to hate myself for whom I became. Someone who doesnt fit the image of a perfect girl. Someone who will never look like the other girls. It hurts too much to know that Ive been the ugly duckling my whole life. Now that Im older, it sort of stuck with me. Nicknames that have hurt so much have now become a part of me. Its sad to think that I actually answer to that name. That hurtful name. Dont judge me from what you think you see, its probably not true. Im not that cute, pretty, or beautiful girl you see in the photographs. Just someone whos been lied to her whole life, thinking shes pretty.
And there are times when I feel like giving up. But when I think about it, what would those that love me think? How are they going to be affected? How are they going to feel when they find out that Im gone? Do I leave such an impact that affects those that are in my surroundings everyday? How is it that Ive managed to live all these years and not know what it is that I truly want in life? I look back to my past and I see things that hurt me so. Things that made me feel like I dont even belong. Why was I brought into