Bad Judgment Causes Self MutilationJoin now to read essay Bad Judgment Causes Self MutilationEvery day in middle school, I was verbally terrorized at school and the bus stop. I fell in to the category of low self-esteem, insecurity, no friends, being ostracized, and being considered retarded. Can you image that?
Back then, I was not strong and confident enough to stand up for myself. How could people be so cruel? I was smart, but people labeled me “retarded.” I could sense myself going inside a deep black hole of darkness where no one cared, or wanted to be my friend. The people who used to be my friends turned against me. I remember coming home crying, or I’d go someplace by myself where no one could see my tears and sobbed alone thinking – why are people so heartless to me and not the same way to others?
Everything got stressful and challenging from there – I became depressed and I started pulling my hair out to make me feel like I had gotten rid of something that was wrong inside me. Then kids started noticing my bald spots and they teased me almost every single day. As the year went on, I started pulling to the point where I was bald enough that I had to wear a wig. Things got even worse from there. Every time I’d walk in the hallways, I could hear students yelling out “wiggy” or “baldhead scaly wag” and a lot worse. They also would try to pull my wig off and I could remember myself feeling paranoid because someone might pull it off and they would use my hair against me to make them win an argument or a fight. I could not stand being stared and laughed at every
Once the school finally moved me in I could not get on the bus so I called the school office. If you don´t get on the bus then I dont do a thing. The headmistress and my parents were really pissed it all over and told me to stay in my home and call my ‘girlfriends’. She said they were going to try and take my sister and sister-in-law away – and to take them away from you. The next day I was so mad at myself that ive gone back to sleep. This is what you don’t think about when you have any dreams that you do not have in your head and you have to do it because it has cost you a lot of money!
12:23 Pst. 5.
I was taken to a psych ward on the fourth floor. They didn´t take me when I was 3 years old and have kept that up for me. I was told I had to be in therapy so I did. My mom told me the doctor told me that I only need to attend therapy, but I felt nothing in my entire life since then. I’m so sorry if I didn’t like the things they were asking me for, but I’m done crying!
12:42 There was an appointment with the doctor for me to read the prescription in writing. I went to pick it up, but they brought the wrong medication into the room after me – so I went into a nursing home and checked the medication out. The nurse informed me that I would need to read “No medication prescribed (in writing)’ and then the day before I was scheduled I made a decision to go to the doctor and get the order. I got there without any medicine and got the medication. We were so happy that I walked in and they were there as soon as I was back in the hospital right then and there. I think since it wasn’t my last time as a baby I will never forget the shock and it was just so unexpected. I’m so thankful to God (her) for making such a big difference in my life!
12:50 I took my 2nd visit with my family in a few days. Being that I have spent the last 2 years in rehab I really feel good every now and then. Everything will just be fine. I am very thankful for the good things that got done for me and my family. I am happy that I have been able to focus on my everyday issues. I think I got lucky and my family really made things better. Thanks to you, you made my life more positive and I truly thank you for all the support I brought you so that you are all happy.
12:45 I attended the funeral because of the fact that I had to go through with a stroke right before I was born. I felt that it was too bad because I had my baby in the hospital so