Essay About Dear Friend Kevin And Initial Assessment Of The First Conversation

Life-Changing DecisionMy dear friend Kevin solicited my advice on an important decision he is currently facing, which will have a major impact on his career and personal life. Having just finished my Leadership and Development course, I asked Kevin if he would mind if we videotaped our conversations surrounding this life-changing decision. He agreed.

Kevin has lived in New Jersey his entire life. He and his wife have a five- year old son and a newborn daughter. Unfortunately, Kevin lost his job approximately six months ago and hasn’t had much luck finding a new one. Just recently, however, a highly regarded company in his industry extended Kevin a job offer. While this is wonderful news, the job is based in Texas, and the salary is less than his previous pay. Kevin has been agonizing over whether he should accept the job and hence, sought my assistance in helping him make a decision.

During my first conversation with Kevin, I made a concerted effort to be a good listener by applying reflection techniques. In doing so, my goal was to stay silent for as long as possible and only use nonverbal communication skills. I wanted to ensure that Kevin knew I was actively listening. Periodically, I would paraphrase what Kevin had said, consolidate his key ideas, and ask clarifying questions when I was not exactly sure about the message he was trying to convey.

My initial assessment of the first conversation between Kevin and me was positive. My nonverbal communication skills were very effective. I attentively leaned forward during our exchange, yet kept enough distance so as to not infringe upon his personal space. We maintained good eye contact throughout our conversation and, from time to time, I nodded my head or exhibited small facial expressions to indicate that I was actively listening.

Unfortunately, when it came time for me to speak, the conversation went awry. Prior to even having my discussion with Kevin, I prematurely concluded that if Kevin accepted the job offer and moved to Texas, it would be detrimental to his career and would wreak havoc on his personal life. For example, I assumed that Kevin wanted to continue living in New Jersey near his parents. Little did I know, Kevin’s parents had recently retired and were also considering moving to Texas. Therefore, when it came time for me to paraphrase his key ideas, due to my own misconceptions, I consistently paraphrased what I wanted to hear as opposed to what he was actually saying. In an attempt to correct me, Kevin would interject and re-paraphrase what he had intended to say. This back and forth dialogue between Kevin and me led to

‘

Please note that not all of the above is true. It is only a general outline. We all make judgments about some aspect of our relationships, thoughts, and feelings. And of course, that opinion can change when decisions are made at an individual or a community level.

To the readers of my blog, or to those who follow me on Twitter and Facebook or are interested in my writings as a person and on social media, I give them a small but important piece of advice.

Let us not fool ourselves into thinking that we will always talk about our own personal experiences—that I will always be able to think like I do.

Let us not fool ourselves into thinking that we as individuals are always able to talk about our own internal lives.

Let us not fool ourselves into thinking that we as individuals have a choice about how we talk about our own life.

Let us not fool ourselves into thinking that we as individuals have a choice of what happens when we say the wrong things to others, how we act about them, or with whom we are talking.

It’s important that people understand that the words that we say to others are not the same things that are spoken in a traditional or traditional society anymore, and that any attempts at communicating this experience through words are being rejected and rejected by all those who listen to and listen to talker voices, many of whom are not familiar with the language used by traditional speech in many Western media today.

I want you to understand more deeply that what is needed is for people of any skill levels to make use of the tools of the internet to find ways of expressing their own personal experiences, and that this is not a good thing.

This work is funded in part with funds from the American Society of Newspaper Editors and the American Society of Journalists, with a specific goal to include writers and editors to the new National Newspaper Association Association, as well as to have the National Association of Newspaper Publishers selected as a National Conference in 2006.

The Association of Newspaper Editors and the National Newspaper Association for the Advancement of Colored People are both in agreement that this is a significant advance, and that they think that it is the only way forward.

Because of the work of the Association of Newspaper Editors and National Newspaper Association for the Advancement of Colored People, I know people who are not yet ready for my books to be published in new or smaller formats.

In addition to putting in my thoughts on the issues that I cover everyday, I work within the confines of the medium of the press. The press is the place where the opinions of the public is most critical. Therefore, my work has a high importance.

I have been an outspoken voice on behalf of writers who are being threatened or harassed by the press because of the coverage they receive. I’ve made a commitment to support the authors and publishers in their efforts to find new ways of expressing their own personal experiences, for those who will come after me if they fail. However, I am now faced with the difficult task of writing a book about the issues I raised on my blog, and to ensure that the voices of