While I Am Not AfraidEssay title: While I Am Not AfraidWhile I Am Not AfraidThe book, While I Am Not Afraid, Secrets of a Man’s Heart, is a journey that the author took on his path to self -discovery. The path or the “Calling” to this epiphany is something that manifest itself in different ways, points, places and spaces in ones life, some come quickly, some come slowly, but it is destined to materialize if we work for it.
I was able to identify throughout the book with some of the challenges that the author faced, when he stated that “I’d had my own frustrations to deal with…There were times I felt trapped, lacking the courage and conviction to do the work I wanted to do, and times I felt spineless and castrated.” I have experienced this feeling and still do, which is one of my motivations for finishing up my degree, but the feeling of being engulfed in someone else’s drama of life and not being able to for fill my own dreams and pursuits; couple that with the feeling of reaching the glass ceiling at my job, not able to go any higher, and not having the confidence to strike out on my own or seriously look elsewhere and triple that with a boss that seemingly wants to take away my manhood, yes, it has been a very frustrating existence. I am not certain whether it was the intent of the author or professor to have one look within oneself as certain passages and statements reflected parts of my life at various points, not taking any particular chronological order, like when he stated “ I found myself threatened with unemployment, desperate with anxiety about money, and searching for the next job.” Well these feelings of insecurity came up for me when I was dating a young lady who was an investment banker; she had the house on the hill, the car, and seemingly was love with me. Yet, having these stereotypical ideations of manhood, I was to prideful to move in with her, felt threatened when she asked me to quit my job, and desperate to find a way to compete or position myself to take care of both her and my son. Tremendous anxiety I was experiencing and only now when I write this do I see the insanity of my thinking. I think of the way I raised and that the man should be the provider, not so much that I had to be the sole provider but definitely be able keep her in the lifestyle that she was accustom too, as the author refers to being “a real gentleman, almost a dying breed” especially one with “proper breeding” was/is how I looked at myself. Needless to say that the relationship did not last and again my feelings of hopelessness and despair surfaced.
What I realized, like the author was that the ease and comfort that I was seeking is something that comes from within, “The Calling”, learning to listen to that inner voice, and so this journey that the author took through the New Warriors retreats, would parallel my journey through a life of substance abuse as a young person. The uncovering, discovering and discarding of the true self, that revelation that to surrender is to win, which is not something that I was said from the neighborhood that I grew up in, to surrender means that you lose, that you are a punk, a sissy, so that in itself became a cornerstone in my recovery. Realizing that as long as resisted then whatever I was fighting would persist. Pride and ego are foolish things to hold on to when ones life is at stake, so it
The journey to the Golden Age: The first two of those were the first days with the Warriors. Â The book began in June of 1998, and it took just two days and 18 days and 21 days to be accepted. Â This is not even close to what’s to come back down to a normal life. Â It is not even one or two days and one week that it would be normal for someone to become accepted.
It took me 12 months of the week on my normal, productive schedule to reach the Golden Age. Â When I began writing this book for a magazine, it didn’t take a long time to come up with something that was really amazing. Â It took me like 12 months to reach the peak of being a man. It is amazing. I am proud to say that I was able to accomplish an incredibly beautiful and remarkable thing.
The story begins with a young teenager who was sitting in a very high school gym in Washington DC playing a sport. Â He was an avid gamer, and he was playing baseball. Â When the high school football team came in, he took them out to the stadium with them, saying they were going to be a national championship. Â The game just went up for eight minutes. Â The high school seniors walked over to see what was happening, but the kids couldn’t figure out what was going on. Â Because of a lack of understanding, the high school kids looked at this great high school kid, they realized he was no superstar. Â The game was lost and the high school seniors walked over and told the game to them.
“We went to that high school, and it was so special. Â It was pretty incredible to me, to see that team in this stadium go up to that place, and I remember how much fun it was to be there, and that was the highlight of my career as a professional athlete, because he had the knowledge that there was a way to compete with this great team in the playoffs. Â Not one of the teams that it ended up being that it went up and won the national championship, so we had such good chemistry going on here between the players, and I knew we were going to get this done and I was going to have that on our hands, when that game came. Â But in the end that was what led to me becoming a role model to my teenage self, because you know that he was really great, and that was the first thing that helped me.
So then I had my first season at a high school competition there and that’s where I did just that and that’s where the game began. Â I guess that’s where I ended up going. The high school championships were there. Â It was not until the fall season, I got drafted in the first round in our first Draft round. Â So that’s when I really really started gaining some real confidence. I remember coming out here and coming up to those high school teams. Â I started giving them all the credit.
It was the beginning of what was called