Open Vs. Closed AdoptionEssay Preview: Open Vs. Closed AdoptionReport this essayFor many people, adoption is the only choice when it comes to having children. Once someone chooses adoption, however, there is always more than one option available. It is important when choosing adoption that each person involved is educated on the topic. There are three main types of adoption: confidential, mediated, and fully disclosed. “In up to 90% of domestic infant adoptions, adoptive parents maintain some contact with birth parents. Its considered best practice because most women want to know what happens to the child and the child wants to know family history” (Koch, 2009). Even though the adoptive parents may not create a strong bond with the child, an open adoption is better than one that is closed because children respond well to open adoptions and the birth parents cope better.
Open vs. Closed Adoption Report this essayI have had the opportunity to have the experience of giving an open adoption in NYC. I’m really proud that I attended a “Open Adoption” workshop at a local food bank and attended the entire experience. And in a community of 6,000 people with a healthy food chain and a healthy job for their kids, I didn’t want people to feel cheated. Many others in the community were worried about the food quality and the social environment. I felt free to be around others who were struggling. But a lot of people don’t care about the children or social aspect. This was a social experience. But I have to say, there’s been so much of it that I was shocked to find out that my father was not happy with his experience. So I have made it a point to tell my parents about the issues he went through and about how I was told they were making a terrible case for open adoption, and I’ve also told my two small sisters about it. I believe I should have a chance to go back to my father, ask how the decision was made and what was done on its own. I’ve also read books and talked to other people (who are actually supportive of the decision) who would gladly be in a position of caring about their children more than I would for some other type of adoption. Some of the books I went to include:In my opinion, it has helped to open adoption but its still not enough to be successful. This article is about how to open adoption correctly.If you want to open adoption properly and understand adoption from a personal standpoint, then the first step is to figure out what to do. This is not as easy as you think. You need to figure out what is needed to actually have your child in a position of caring and doing your best to understand why the parents of one will be happy about their decision, and the other ones will probably be disappointed. The way to do this is to figure out how I can help them be successful in the adoption process without being emotionally pressured. I’ve found my own ways of getting my kids to open adoption in a positive way.I like to keep a strong sense of perspective. I can’t be anything unless I can take responsibility for that, and I try to open any opportunity my family has to open adoption with my own eyes. I look at adoption as a way to make changes for my children and when they see the changes they want, I make sure they understand the needs they want. You need to focus solely on how you help your partners with the adoption process, and not do anything that will change their life experience. I think that the best way we can learn to open the adoption process is by watching. I know that many of you probably don’t watch, but I’m going to show you where I have learned how to do it right.I hope that this post helps you learn by doing your best to open adoptions carefully. I think this is what can work for most people. Hope you enjoy.
Adoption is a legal process, practiced in front of a judge, which brings together a child or children with new parents. When a child is adopted the adoptive parents receive the same legal rights and responsibilities as if they were the birthparents. Once welcomed into the family the child assumes the emotional and social responsibilities of any other family member. Most judges will use the phrase, “as if born to” (Adoption Media, 1995-2010) to signify the child/parent relationship. Before the process is finished, a judge will converse with each party involved and verify that everyone understands exactly what is about to take place. The rights of the biological parents are severed and the adoptive parents receive all parental rights.
The three most commonly known forms of adoption are closed, semi-open, and open adoption. A closed adoption is when there is absolutely no contact between parties involved once the adoption is finalized. This is the most traditional type of adoption. There is no identifying information shared about the birthparents or the adopted child and theyre new family. Semi open adoption is when some information is shared between the birthparents and the adoptive family. Usually there is a mediator, such as a social worker, who passes information along to both parties. Finally an open adoption is when all information is shared. There may be meetings arranged, phones calls, letters, and pictures exchanged between the birth and adoptive families. Out of these three types of adoption, the most traditional type is a closed adoption.
Closed adoptions have been the norm for quite some time but people are now starting to see open adoption as a preferred alternative. A study was done with a group of adoptive parents and birthmothers on their experiences with open adoption. The following pie graph depicts the studys results.
(Adoption Media, 1995-2010)As seen from the above pie graph, parties involved in open adoption have had very positive experiences. Birthmothers have indicated that they view open adoption in a positive light. Adoptive parents have commented that they are appreciative of having the option to approach their childs birth family if need be.
Birthparents and adoptive families want to lessen the confusion among the adopted child. Some families may start out with a closed adoption and then transition into an open one depending on the situation. The following quote from an adoptive family is a good example of a closed adoption to an open adoption transition.
Our adoption is open but it started out closed, Mark says. When I first met Mary, my daughter Lynns birth mother, I had no idea who she really was, he admits, or that we could ever be anything to each other. I wanted a closed relationship. I didnt want Lynn to be confused. We wasted quite a few years playing hide and seek with each other. Deep down, I was so afraid that if they knew each other, Lynn would love Mary better than she loves us, I just couldnt stand to take the risk. Then Lynnie ended up in the hospital, in intensive care, and we needed Marys information. She was more than just there for us. She was knowledgeable about life and death in their family. Mary knew Lynns biological inheritance. Being able to benefit from what she knew may have saved Lynns life. Mary wasnt squeamish about Lynnies vomit, or smell, or blood. She had the strength to be able to stand what was happening and to take it and to help. It turned out Lynn had a rare blood disease that had surfaced before in their family. When I finally understood how connected Mary and Lynn would always be to each other without taking anything away from our family, my feelings started untangling in a way that felt new. I started being able to relax around Mary. I found out I could trust her. I began to understand that her love for Lynn is like mine. Now we cant imagine not seeing her. We are able to share future dreams and even talk about the sadness of the past. Im deeply grateful shes a part of our lives.
(Adoption Media, 1995-2010)Minimizing the sense of loss, commemorating the childs previous family, and eliminating the possibility of the child feeling betrayed are the goals of open adoption for the children.
A closed adoption may have a negative effect on the child as well as the birth parents. Many different emotions are felt through this experience. Identity confusion, not being able to compare physical traits to their birth family, limited access to information that others take for granted such as medical records, and the feeling of abandonment may be experienced by the adoptee. The birth parents may feel an unbearable amount of guilt in a closed adoption. The biological parents may have the urge to know if their child is safe and happy but will have no way of knowing unless open adoption is chosen. “The relinquishment of a child for adoption permeates all aspects of a birthmothers life” (Purtuesi, 1995).
The birth parents in an open adoption have a better outlook on life. They feel more in control and content for making a responsible decision pertaining to their child rather than abandoning them. Even though birth parents experience all the steps of grief and loss they end up going through it more quickly in an open adoption. Because of this they tend to have a higher amount of self-esteem and better mental health than birth parents in a closed adoption.
Adoptive parents in an open adoption have contact with their childs biological parents which will allow the adoptive parents to have a “real image” of the birth parents. As a relationship develops between both families trust and understanding is formed. Adoptive parents in a closed adoption may have feelings of insecurity because they constantly worry that their children will be taken away. These feelings are not an issue in an