Arranged Marriages
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Arranged Marriages
This report discusses the affirmative and negatives of arranged marriages. This report does not give a personal opinion but shows both sides of the argument.
Here is some background information regarding arranged marriages. Islam is one religion that uses arranged marriages. Not only are the marriages arranged by the parents but also by older relatives as well. They believe that the parents know all about their children so they are capable of choosing a suitable partner whom may enable the couple to have a successful marriage, all though if either the bride or groom disagrees the wedding can not go on. The details of the marriage are set out in a contract which is a legal document. (Tames, 1982, 30)
Hinduism is another group of people who have arranged marriages but not to the same extent. Hindus believe that a marriage is based on more than physical or emotional attraction. At one stage Hindus were pretty strict about arranged marriages where the parents decision was final. (Teece, 2003, 15)
For Arranged Marriages
Marital incompatibility has been found to be a major reason for divorce. When the parents arrange the marriage they will have found someone who is compatible so that the marriage will work. When the parents pick someone they are drawing from experience typically 20 years of married life and they went through the same process no doubt.
When in a arranged marriage situation there is a lower expectation because neither side knows what to expect of the other person. Both sides imagine the worse scenario or outcome but when they get to the marriage and meeting the other person things turn out better than what they originally thought and they are willing to stay in the marriage and to make it work and get to know there partner better.
There is also a lower divorce rate in arranged marriages. There is a 0% – 7% divorce rate for arranged marriages compared to a 55% divorce rate in the United states alone. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is the lower expectation of the marriage and another is that the religions mentioned encourage the couples to stay together. Because the family was part of the selection they are a good support group for the couple to help them through troubled times and to get through it. (
Western societies deride arranged marriages as backwards and primitive although divorce rates are much lower in arranged marriages. For example western societies seem to focus more on the physical appearance in relationships, therefore are more obsessed with love, sex, beauty etc. Marriages based on these things may not work out due to clashes in personalities, beliefs or common annoy things. In contrast in the eastern cultures that use arranged marriages put emphases on practical things such as integrity, diligence, ambition, humility, generosity etc. people therefore are getting married due to practical reasons and work on building the love in the relationship later.
Here is an ad that was place by parents looking for a suitable daughter for there son.
“Punjabi parents desire beautiful, professional, never married, US raised girl for handsome son, 34, 510″/150, fair, slim, athletic, engineer/MBA, consultant in DC area, Enjoys travel, sports, music. Please reply”
Because of such descriptive features when parents are looking for a young man for their daughter they can find out which guy would be best for her due to what is wanted. Because of that there is a higher possibility that the two will get along because they are interested in the same things. (www.zackvision.com)
Against Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages may prove loveless. Because of the large push in society for couples to stay together some people may stay with their souse for either their families sake and for respect in society. Because of such expectation within the society couples feel that they need to stay together and even in some circumstances women stay in abusive relationships for the sake of her family and respect. You would think that it would be the opposite and that the family would want her to leave her husband. Therefore love may never grow or is never there in the relationship. All it is, is just a big put on making it look like they are happy in the relationship and just putting a mask on when others are around. (
Takes away freedom of choice. Someone else is deciding which direction your life is going in. When marriage is a consideration people are old enough to make their own decisions. Love marriages offer more independence and freedom in the context of choosing who you be with and what you do. In some arranged marriages the woman is told what to do and when she is allowed to leave the house. This also can lead to abusive behaviors towards the woman if she does not obey her husband. Due to the parents choosing the partner for the woman she then feels obligated to stay in the relationship for the sake of the family pride and also respect in the community. There is a lot of pressure placed upon the child to conform to their parents expectations therefore the woman, not matter what is happening at home, wants to make her family happy. If the