Essay About Birthday Present And Men

Why Mac’s Are Better Then Pc’s
Essay title: Why Mac’s Are Better Then Pc’s
International Rules of Manhood
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella
2: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If youve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddys fridge is forbidden. However, complain at will if the
temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddys birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in
progress, but you may never ask whos playing.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when youre sunning on a tropical beach and
its delivered by a topless supermodel…and its free.
11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless youre in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends dont let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a mans fly is down, thats his problem, you didnt see anything.
15: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate
knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, thats just greedy.
18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, youd better be talking about his choice of beer.
19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if shes withholding sex
pending your response.
20: Phrases that may NOT be uttered