Essay Preview: Love
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Some people would say that with all the obstacles that African Americans have endured since being forced into servitude in this country-slavery, discrimination, poverty, inequalities, and so on- that black love is non-existent. Dont even look for it, because you wont find it, and if you do, its probably just a figment of your imagination. I think that some people, even African Americans themselves, believe what they hear and see and play into the disparaging statistics. According to an Essence Magazine article entitled,” Do You Know Where the Men Are-Reality Check: Looking Beyond the Numbers”, there are 115 Black women in the United States for every 100 Black men, 18 and over. 586,300 Black men are in federal and state prisons, compared to 35,050 Black women and the unemployment rate in some cities, for example, New York, is nearly 50 percent for black men. Not to mention fewer male college graduates- 38,103 Black men in 2001 compared to 73,204 (Pg. 1). With all that said, it would seem almost impossible to conceive a strong relationship between African American men and women, but I think that black love still exists and although there are many barriers that stand in the way, I think that the strength of black love is evident through society.
Charles Du Bos said, “Love does not care to define and is never in a hurry to do so.” I think that this quote accurately portrays the love that some people in the African American community share. There are plenty of men and women who choose to live together, creating families and establishing lives together and never make the commitment to get married. Therefore, these people are included in the statistics of singles who may or may not have children, and add to the stereotype that there are many unwed mothers, when, in some scenarios, they are happy in the situation they are in. These women and men are prime examples of what black love is in todays society. Their relationship to the common man is undefined and maybe even fictional, but if they are happy with their situation and are in love, then they are exemplifying what black love is. Some men and women choose to stay in relationships with their significant other, while they are incarcerated. This is another example of a type of love that is unconventional, but does exist and is just as viable, in my opinion, as someone remaining in a relationship while their significant other is away fighting a war in the armed forces. Since there are so many young African Americans that are incarcerated, some men and women have chosen to remain in these relationships despite the time and space apart, and this is another example of black love. Black people have always had to learn to love someone from a distance, beginning with the Triangle Trade Route. Africans were being forced onto a ship to never see some of their loved ones again, and when this happened, did the love that they had for their husbands and wives shrivel up and die? No. It continued the same way it thrived when families were separated after being sold to different plantation owners, or when a husband was free, but his wife and children were still slaves. Or when some of the male leaders of the Civil Rights Movement had to go on long trips to preach for justice, the love continued to flourish. African American men and women have always had to endure the pain of being away from a loved one, and even though the relationships do not always last, the fact that these people made an initial effort to commit to continuing loving their significant other shows me that black love is still alive and well.
Another prime example of the survival and continuation of black love is a section in an ethnic magazine named Jet Magazine. Readers often flip through this magazine to read the latest headlines in the African American community and probably for the ever-so-popular Jet “Beauty of the Week”. Besides noting historical facts in African American history and featuring popular African American entertainers, the magazine has a section entitled “Love and Happiness”. Even to a frequent reader of Jet Magazine, the “Love and Happiness” section is just pictures to fill up the pages, but to a person who searches to find out whether or not black love is still alive, the answer is right there before their eyes. The “Love and Happiness” section not only highlights newlyweds, and not famous newlyweds, like Star Jones and Al Reynolds. This section highlights everyday couples who submit to the magazine their wedding invitation and information. In addition to highlighting these everyday newlyweds, the section commits to accenting those individuals who are celebrating their anniversaries. Some people may think that featuring couples who are celebrating their first, fifth, or fifteenth anniversary is not a big deal. But submissions are only featured if the couples are celebrating over 50 years of marriage together. Now if that is not a sign that black love is alive and well today, then I dont know what it. Here is a magazine that dedicates a section in every issue that is produced to commemorate new black couples entering into holy matrimony and those who have said their vows at least 50 years ago.
It is evident to me, that even if black women and men have not yet found love, they still believe it exists and are still interested in finding it by getting involved with another African American. Contrary to what many rap songs may portray, young black men and women do love and respect each other and are not afraid to say it. Michael Eric Dyson sent his own personal Valentine to black women all over the world in 2003 with