Book Review of “getting Past No” by William Ury
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Book Review of “Getting Past No” by William Ury
I will quickly admit that when given this assignment, my first thoughts were “Why a book about negotiation in a Real Property class?” It was an assignment so I did not have much choice, besides; surely there is a good reason for the assignment. So I set out reading and I quickly realized the benefits of reading this book. As I read, I kept identifying situations in my professional and personal life that could have been negotiated better using the tactics outlined. I kept saying to myself, “Hmm, would this situation have had a better outcome if I had tried this approach?” Also, much to my surprise, I read about a few situations in which I had already used Urys methods successfully to arrive at my desired outcome. I then came to a realization. If I got this far on my own, how much more effective might I be by implementing the suggested tactics and methods. After all, Ury must know what he is talking about because I have already seen some of these methods in action; and they worked. So now I am hooked. Getting deeper into his text I think back to conversations of the day and grade myself against the tactics discussed in the book. I quickly realized that this reading and writing assignment not only applied to my Real Property class, but to every aspect of my life and wished that I had read this book earlier. Being a father, husband, professional and a law student, I do not have much time for pleasure reading, but I will certainly look for another book in this series as my next pleasure read.
The task of negotiation can be a very intimidating and difficult task to master. If it were easy, everyone would have a corner office, millions of dollars and always get what they want. It is rare that something just falls in your lap. You have to go out and ask for the things that you want. Often times the initial response is a resounding “NO!” This is where negotiation techniques become very important. I would imagine most people shared the same feeling about negotiating as I did before reading this book. My thoughts were, “be strong, do not give in and even if you do not get what you want, you still have your pride.” Ury has made me reexamine my approach. The successful negotiator is prepared. Preparation accomplishes a couple of things. The first thing the book taught me was to identify what I set out to accomplish. In negotiating price with a manufacturer, you first need to ask why you are talking to them. Do not get distracted from the fact that you want a reasonable price for the products you need to purchase. You did not contact them to spend the afternoon arguing. So identify what you want and make that your goal. Also before starting negotiations, identify your standards. Ask yourself three questions. What do I want? What will I be content with? And what could I live with. You should also identify your BATNA or best alternative you could get without any negotiations. Depending on your answers, it may or may not be in your best interest to negotiate at all.
William Ury successfully attempts to simplify the sometimes daunting task of breakthrough negotiation by identifying a process. The five steps, 1-Going to the Balcony, 2-Stepping to their Side, 3-Reframe, 4-Building them a Golden Bridge, and 5-Using Power to Educate give the reader a roadmap to success. Often times during negotiation, emotions flare and lead to undesired results. If you can stay calm, you are much more likely to remember all of your talking points. If you have prepared yourself and have good arguments and counter attacks ready, then you want to use them. Ury borrows the phrase “Going to the Balcony” from a colleague to describe allowing yourself to analyze the situation as a removed third party. This gives you time to collect your thoughts and to remind yourself to focus on your goal. The next step is to “Step to their Side.” Stepping to the opposing partys side can be applied to preparation and during the actual negotiation. In preparing for negotiation, it is wise to look at the disagreement from the oppositions view. This helps you identify their goals and prepare for counter attacks. During negotiation, stepping to the other side is a way to throw off your opponents game. Just as in football, an initial kick-off return can sometimes stun the kicking team. Stepping to the oppositions side and agreeing with them can throw them off of their game plan. You should agree when you can and by doing so, you have started to build a relationship with the other side. Ury recognizes that it is much harder to say “No” to someone you know rather than a stranger. Therefore, you should try to establish a connection with your opposition. The third strategic step is to Reframe. Reframing simply helps you keep the negotiation progressing even when you are faced with stonewalling, or personal attacks by the opposing party. At this phase ask problem solving questions like, “Why do you feel that is fair?” Also ask the opposition for their advice. Imagine your oppositions surprise when you ask how they would explain a proposed agreement. These questions force your opposition to examine the issue objectively and many times helps then see the unfairness of their proposal. Reframing also gives you a chance to identify and address tricks the opposition may attempt. You can also feel out the other sides restrictions. Call their bluff and let them know that you are not a pushover and that you are serious. The next step is to “Build them a Golden Bridge.” Building a golden bridge refers to your providing them a way to agree but to still look favorable to their constituents. Sometimes it all comes down to pride. Pride and respect have killed many deals, so do not make it an issue. If you sense that your opposition wants to agree but is afraid that the agreement will make him look weak or like he gave in, offer a solution. The book discusses President Kennedys handling of the Cuban Missile Crises. Clearly, he achieved his objective by having the missiles removed, but did so in a way that allowed Russian Premier Khrushchev to proclaim that he had prevented the US from invading Cuba. Kennedy never intended on invading Cuba, so it did not cost anything to allow Khrushchev to pound his chest. This almost certainly provided an escape for the Russian Premier. Ury discusses the importance of keeping this escape route preserved. Also, sometimes you can tell the other party wants to negotiate, but just cant find the solution. Ury uses the story of the eighteenth camel to describe a solution to this problem. In his example, the three brothers were to divide their inheritance of seventeen camels by one half for the oldest,