Essay About Child Behavior And Birth Order

Sibling Spats
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Sibling Spats
“Both of you, to your rooms, now!” This is the typical punishment that used to
arise from sibling rivalry, but what are parents to do now when the fighting turns into
physical violence? The usual reprimanding may not be enough to calm the raging waters.
There are various suggested ways to control child behavior, but the problem is finding the
appropriate method for the right family.
The first step to finding a solution is locating the roots of the problems. When the
children are subjected to constant socialization, they learn to share and use their siblings as
a sort of “testing ground.” This time helps shape the childs personalities and other
lifelong qualities (Bode 21). There are some questions concerning why certain siblings get
along harmoniously and affectionately, while others fight constantly. Some of the
disturbances in the relationships can be traced to age differences. When one of the
children reaches adolescence, they become very secretive. They want the world to see
them as an adult. Sometimes this proves to be overwhelming, so the child lashes out at
younger siblings or other family members (Bode 28 – 29).
Birth order also affects the relationships between siblings. All children in a family
behave differently because of the way they are or were treated by their parents and others.
First children tend to be put on their parents pedastool because they are expected to
succeed. They are very bossy to younger children, and have strong beliefs about what is
right or wrong, and how their brothers and sisters should behave. They do not let the
younger ones get away with something they could not do at their age. The second or
middle child does not expect to get his or her own way much. They learn to achieve what
they want through indirect means. Last, the third or youngest child learns that the best
method for them to get their way is by being nice. They frequently do what they want and
get away with it because others arent paying any attention. Living with all of these
dispositions in one household can lead to tremendous outbreaks of anger and frustration
just because of trivial differences (Bode 46 – 52).
Sibling rivalry has many causes that both parents and children can bring about, but
there are also solutions for both parties. Parents should try to set some ground rules in
order to prevent violence, but they also need to let their kids resolve their own conflicts by
negotiating by themselves (Hoyt). Parents cannot constantly be interfering because these
are their childs learning experiences. Children should be acquiring skills that will be
useful later in life. When the small arguments do lead to punches and hurtful name calling,
parents need to react as if it is someone elses child being assailed. Most parents dont
punish their child as harshly for beating on their siblings as they would for picking on
another playmate. This makes the child feel as if it is okay to annoy their siblings.
Punishment needs to be the same for all cases, especially when it comes to bullying (Child
Behavior 215 – 216).
Children can also work to prevent fighting on their own. Sometimes children pick
fights with their sibs because they are angry with themselves and there is no one else on
which to take out their anger and because they cannot hit their mother or father, the child
usually uses their siblings as the punching bag. Older children are more aware of the
constant frustration around them and they are more open and understanding of solutions.
There are many techniques that a more mature