Bunching Hoisery
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The Bunching Hosiery
Narrator:
as were approaching memorial day we wanted to remember our countries very first soldiers, the first American revolutionary army. The scene is Washington and his army crossing the Delaware. It was a cold December day in 1776 and they have been on the water for some time now

Private Private:
Are we there yet?
Washington:
Private Private:
When are we going to get there?
Washington:
Well get there when we get there! Stop asking!
Private Private:
But Im cold, and Im hungry, and I want to be there, and my toes are cold, and my nose hurts…
Washington:
Do you want me to turn this boat around and not go there at all? Is that what you want? Because I can do that you know…
Private Private:
No…
Washington:
No what?
Private Private:
No sir.
Washington:
Thats what I thought.
Jose:
Can I steer?
Washington:
NO! I told you that before!
Private Private:
**talking to Jose** just because hes the general he thinks he can do whatever he wants.
Washington:
Will you hush back there! **Darth Vader voice** I mean, I am your father…. Of the country that is.
(pause)
Ishmael:
**talking to Jose** Look… your doing it
again.
Jose:
Doing what?
Ishmael:
Youre on my side of the boat!
Jose:
I am not!
Ishmael:
Yes you are and you know it!
**talking to Washington about Jose**
HES ON MY SIDE OF THE BOAT!
Washington:
Just let it go.
Private Private:
**talking about Ishmael** Hes touching
me!!! STOP TOUCHING ME!
Ishmael:
Its not like I have anywhere else to
sit.
Washington:
If you dont stop it Im going to separate you two… is that what you want, to be separated? Because if I have to separate you two one of you is going to be sitting outside the boat!

Private Private and Ishmael:
Im sorry.
Washington:
Sorry what?
Private Private and Ishmael:
Were sorry sir.
Washington :
**scratching**
Jose:
Why are you scratching?
Washington:
My hosiery is bunching and this uniform is itchy. You know Betsy Ross made these uniforms out of scrap material.
Jose:
Ooooooh… thats why they are all red, white, and blue stripes.
Washington:
Do you think these vertical stripes make my butt look big?
Private Private:
No, no George, its just thick material.
Ishmael:
**talking to Jose** Sure its thick material I see him sneaking that extra biscuit at meal times… oh Ive seen it… many a times.
Washington:
What was that?
Ishmael:
Nothing.
Washington:
No tell me.
Ishmael:
… oh I was just saying… uh… I love crossing the Delaware… id do it anytime.
Washington:
Now thats the spirit Soldier. Whats your name?
Ishmael:
Call me Ishmael…
Private Private:
**whispers into Washingtons ear**
Washington:
Why didnt you think of that before we left!?! I mean come on now did you really have to have all that wassail?
Private Private:

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Cold December Day And Darth Vader Voice. (June 11, 2021). Retrieved from https://www.freeessays.education/cold-december-day-and-darth-vader-voice-essay/