Dysfuctional Family LifeEssay Preview: Dysfuctional Family LifeReport this essayDYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY LIFEThe reality television show, The Osbournes, starring Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon, along with their two teenage children airs on MTV. Their family life, as portrayed by the television show, leaves much to be desired, because their lives are filled with chaos, total disorder, and a swarm of offensive language. Yet, there is also clear evidence of love for one another. Andrew Matte (2002), a writer for the Toronto Star in Canada, agrees that the Osbournes family isnt as dysfunctional as what the general public tends to believe. Matte states that sociologists who have looked intensively at the family have concluded that Ozzy and his wife Sharon are responsible, loving parents. Can one family, that is said to be dysfunctional by most of the general public, still be concluded as being a responsible, loving and functional family?
RICH LESINGTON: I think the main point about the family is that there is nothing there except to help them. It is there, and it’s there. Ozzy has a problem with people that is completely out of him, and they’re like, “I know how much you want me to like this.” I think Ozzy’s problem is that he doesn’t want his children to love someone he doesn’t know, and he needs to find something he’s really comfortable with that I haven’t found yet. He has to feel comfortable in their existence and not feel the strain. We’re seeing that, in a way. He wants them to be nice and he wants them to be kind to women. And I’m sure there’s a lot of the negative things that are associated with this. Ozzy has a tendency to keep things to himself, and a lot of his frustration with the women outside of his marriage is a part of that. The women outside his life can be quite angry, and things get tiring. I’ve written in other interviews of Ozzy that his wife Sharon is very angry about him, and she feels like he needs her to stand for his. So this is Ozzy. This is his wife Sharon. We can’t get through talking about what he wants and what his life needs, so she’s constantly saying that he has to see his partner in a good light. I don’t think that she’s really going to say that, because those things are just distractions.
SARAH KANES: Well that’s true. I do think it’s a positive, and this is what I’m going to say to you: we live in a culture where there is a great deal of jealousy, and jealousy has been a major driving force in this culture. Ozzy just doesn’t like people. He’ll say, “Well, how would you get into a nice relationship if I didn’t?” I said, “Okay. But I’m no big dick. I mean, I was going to like somebody with like $1 million and you’d like to spend that money for you?” But then just when they realized that it was not that easy to do, he would say, “I just want my money back, because that is how I want to be.” But I don’t think that you’ve really seen any of that in the community lately, that there are people who are even willing to do that. As a child I played around with a lot of kids who were so unhappy that they wanted to kill themselves or beat themselves up, because as a kid the parents were just mad, and there was nothing to justify it. At the age of 13 and 14 I would hang out with my dad in the corner while I would listen to an episode or two of an HBO show or the sitcom that we thought were great. It was not a fun movie. I’m not sure why but I guess it was because I couldn’t watch it. At the end of the day, it was the only program that I watched because this was my dad’s show, I’m pretty sure that would’ve been a much better choice…
BILL ROSIE: Thats right. It’s all in the past.
JUNK KING: And how do you explain it?
BILL ROSIE: Well Ozzy doesn’t have problems with women. Why would they do stuff in the past that he’d rather not be doing now? And he doesn’t have any problem with his girlfriend. I was having a lot of conversations with some of his friends, as well. That’s one of the key things about those people that he
DysfunctionalityWhile the public in general looks at the Osbournes as a dysfunctional family, Mattes comment suggests that there is enough evidence for sociologists to deem the family functional. If the Osbournes are labeled “functional” perhaps one needs a new definition of the word dysfunctional. Andrew Marshall (2003), a psychologist who specializes in couples counseling explains that the term dysfunctional means not being able to function well and/or a social behavior that weakens the stability of society. Marshall declares that the term dysfunctional is psychological gibberish that certain therapists like to use in order to sound more convincing. Thus, in a sense, the term dysfunctional seems to be an assumption that “narrow-minded” people tend to make when they have no idea about another person, the circumstances that that person is dealing with or what they have dealt with in the past. Marshall explains how easy it is to take our own personal life and the standards that we life with and try to force them on other people. However, in a tolerant society, one may need to learn that because someone lives differently, doesnt make him or her dysfunctional.
Family LifeIn an essay, Gary Soto, (2004) an author of New and Selected Poems, displays his family in contrast to an ideal family, portrayed by the television shows like “Leave It to Beaver” and “Father Knows Best.” These families are portrayed as to leading very comfortable lives filled with nothing but love. There were never any big disagreements, and they all went about their day, as happy as could be with not a care in the world. When Soto attempts to compare his family to the ones portrayed by television he states that, “Whereas the Beavers family enjoyed dessert in dishes at the table, out mom sent us outside”(p. 29). He goes on to describe how he went outside to gaze longingly at the neighbors fruit growing in their yards. Is Beavers family considered to be functional and is Gary Sotos family dysfunctional, or can both be considered as being functional?
Stephanie Coontz (2004), a professor at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, states that the people watching ideal families on television know thats not the way families function in everyday reality. Everything isnt always as smooth as portrayed on television. Theres always a few more bumps and turns in the road before one gets to the final destination. Coontz goes on to say that people watch these ideal families on television to see “how families were suppose to live – and to get a little reassurance that they were headed in the right directions” (p.38).
Dysfunctional FamilyBeth Brophy (1995), a U.S News Senior Editor, states that dysfunctional families are different from pleasant ones by the ways that they deal with the issues of control, power, and relationship closeness. Brophy believes that families can be grouped into five levels, with the first one being optimal. According to Brophy, this type of family is portrayed through television shows similar to The Cosbys, where both parents share the power equally, the differences between family members are accepted, and each family member is able to express their feelings without a fear of rejection. With the families at the optimal level, the final power of rules lies within the parents, but the children are able to make reasonable suggestions and the parents then consider the childrens opinion when making the final decision. Even then, the rules are able to bend and change with time, as the situations needs.
Skipping a level and going to level three, the midrange level, Brophy describes her version of ordinary people. According to Brophy, in this type of family, the rules are controlled by what one should have done, rule breakers feel guilty, and the idea of control is managed by manipulation, guilt and intimidation. Brophy claims that these families, for the most part, are able to function okay. The problem that Brophy suggests is that there are many rules for what a “good, loving person” should do (You say most families section, para.1). She gives examples of things including a good wife keeps hte house clean or makes love to her husband when he wants, a good husband doesnt work on the weekends, and good children listen and obey their parents. The issue that is raised at this level is, the rules