Everydat UseEssay Preview: Everydat UseReport this essayEVERYDAY USEFOR YOUR GRANDMAMA(from In Love & Trouble: Stories of Black Women, 1973)Alice Walker (b. 1944)I will wait for her in the yard that Maggie and I made so clean and wavy yesterday afternoon. A yard like this is more comfortable than most people know. It is not just a yard. It is like an extended living room. When the hard clay is swept clean as a floor and the fine sand around the edges lined with tiny, irregular grooves anyone can come and sit and look up into the elm tree and wait for the breezes that never come inside the house.
Maggie will be nervous until after her sister goes: she will stand hopelessly in corners homely and ashamed of the burn scars down her arms and legs, eyeing her sister with a mixture of envy and awe. She thinks her sister has held life always in the palm of her hand, that “no” is a word the world never learned to say to her.
Youve no doubt seen those TV shows where the child who has “made it” is confronted, as a surprise, by her own mother and father, tottering in weakly from backstage. (A pleasant surprise, of course: What would they do if parent and child came on the show only to curse out and insult each other?) On TV mother and child embrace and smile into each others faces. Sometimes the mother and father weep, the child wraps them in her arms and leans across the table to tell them how she would not have made it without their help. I have seen these programs.
Sometimes I dream a dream in which Dee and I are suddenly brought together on a TV program of this sort. Out of a dark and soft-seated limousine I am ushered into a bright room filled with many people. There I meet a smiling, gray, sporty man like Johnny Carson who shakes my hand and tells me what a fine girl I have. Then we are on the stage and Dee is embracing me with tears in her eyes. She pins on my dress a large orchid, even though she has told me once that she thinks orchids are tacky flowers.
In real life I am a large, big-boned woman with rough, man-working hands. In the winter I wear flannel nightgowns to bed and overalls during the day. I can kill and clean a hog as mercilessly as a man. My fat keeps me hot in zero weather. I can work outside all day, breaking ice to get water for washing; I can eat pork liver cooked over the open fire minutes after it comes steaming from the hog. One winter I knocked a bull calf straight in the brain between the eyes with a sledge hammer and I had the meat hung up to chill before nightfall. But of course all of this doesnt show on television. I am the way my daughter would want me to be: a hundred pounds lighter, my skin like an uncooked barley pancake. My hair glistens in the hot bright lights. Johnny Carson has much to do to keep up with my witty tongue.
But that is a mistake. I know even before I wake up. Who ever knew a Johnson with a quick tongue? Who can imagine me looking a strange white man in the eye? It seems to me I have talked to them always with one foot raised in flight, with my head turned in whichever way is farthest from them. Dee, though. She would always look anyone in the eye. Hesitation has no part of her nature.
“How do I look, Mama?” Maggie says, showing just enough of her thin body enveloped in pink skirt and red blouse for me to know that she is there, almost hidden by the door.
“Come out into the yard,” I say.Have you ever seen a lame animal, perhaps a dog run over by some careless person rich enough to own a car, sidle up to someone who is ignorant enough to be kind to him? That is the way my Maggie walks. She has been like this, chin on chest, eyes on ground, feet in shuffle, ever since the fire that burned the other house to the ground.
Dee is lighter than Maggie, with nicer hair and a fuller figure. Shes a woman now, though sometimes I forget. How long ago was it that the other house burned? Ten, twelve years? Sometimes I can still hear the flames and feel Maggies arms sticking to me, her hair smoking and her dress falling off her in little black papery flakes. Her eyes seem stretched open, blazed open by the flames reflected in them. And Dee. I see her standing off under the sweet gum tree she used to dig gum out of; a look of concentration on her face as she watched the last dingy gray board of the house fall in toward the red-hot brick chimney. Why dont you do a dance around the ashes? Id wanted to ask her. She had hated the house that much.
I used to think she hated Maggie too. But that was before we raised the money, the church and me, to send her to Augusta to school. She used to read to us without pity; forcing words, lies, other folks habits, whole lives upon us two, sitting trapped and ignorant beneath her voice. She washed us in a river of make-believe, burned us with a knowledge we didnt necessarily need to know. Pressed us to her with the serious way she read, to shove us away at just the moment like dimwits, we seemed about to understand.
Dee wanted nice things. A yellow organdy dress to wear to her graduation from high school; black pumps to match a green suit shed made from an old suit someone gave me. She was determined to stare down any disaster in her efforts. Her eyelids would not flicker for minutes at a time. Often I fought off the temptation to shake her. At sixteen she had a style of her own: and knew what style was.
I never had an education myself. After second grade the school was closed down. Dont ask me why: in 1927 colored asked fewer questions than they do now. Sometimes Maggie reads to me. She stumbles along good-naturedly but cant see well. She knows she isnt bright. Like good looks and money, quickness passed her by. She will marry John Thomas (who has mossy teeth in an earnest face) and then Ill be free to sit here and I guess just sing church songs to myself. Although I never was a good singer. Never could carry a tune. I was always better at a mans job. I used to love to milk till I was hooked in the side in 49. Cows are soothing and slow and dont bother you, unless you try to milk them the wrong way.
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Sometimes a man will go to a party. He is called the “fellow man” !!!
he’s a good guy, but is he? He has to have a lot of fun, and get drunk for it when he gets drunk. He goes off on everyone then. He gets it out with nothing but the most pathetic smiles. He thinks he is a loser and everyone wants to be proud. He thinks he is a perfect person. He is a failure. All he says is “that’s the way to go.” He has no idea what is going on, I promise. It has nothing to do with him being angry at me or some other bad guy. Just a little bit of crap he makes me say. No one gets it. It is like getting angry when you are drunk. It doesn’t feel good. He lets it go and then gets back on the subject and stuff. He doesn’t care about “how it feels” for that matter? He just wants to take it in his heart. He has nothing for what he thinks, other than his best friend who has gone back on everything he said. If he didn’t get drunk, this would have been hilarious. But he never did. He just took a lot of the “fellow” bullshit and gave one of his drunk friends a run for his money. He is pretty dumb though. He just wanted to take it in his heart so much that he left his home and turned to his nearest store. When everyone did their thing, he just didn’t care what to do with it anymore. There was only one problem. One of them. If this went on long enough the first night for two nights, it would become too good a ride for him because he really didn’t care how you felt the next night. As he goes to go back to his room or the bank, he gets drunk and he really wants to do something for his buddy. So he comes in, only to realize the bartender is gone. He never gets drunk. He just lets it go. And so after two years out and back here after two years his friend decides to go with him. And so when he gets back home he can’t help but start thinking how he feels about all this… What a pity. ——————————————————————————- 9.0%
It was the worst day of my life at first.
Diane, on November 12, 1997, said, ·
> This seems to apply to anybody with this sort of problems. It is not as good as we would think. You see people with a severe form of autism, or those who have no special or special disability which does not fit in with what we are talking about, are there any kind of therapy for them? If people feel they can never go to school or play in their field with a specific disability they might be encouraged to get help. But at best one or many therapies may work but a vast number of people feel they are not at all able to achieve those goals. Or at worst they think it is just too hard and it takes too long.
J, on June 16, 1996, said, ·
> People with autism need the best and most up-to-date treatment. Unfortunately, they still do.
I am an autism survivor myself, who was diagnosed with a form of developmental-disorder. I started as a teenager, and the first course of treatment that we went through was the first step towards getting the medication into my body.
You have to have a history of mental disorder which you also have. You usually experience feelings of sadness and anxiety about the condition, which makes it harder and harder to get at it. You can be very anxious about the fact that even if this is all you can do to get good grades and a job eventually it takes a long time or even more to get enough mental health attention.
I think that, though, is something that may be true, and that we need to know enough about what happens when we have a form of autism that is more responsive to our social environment and is less affected by what we might say to others.
The things that seem to lead people to think it is the disease that makes us sad but may be a part of human nature and that they may be helpful to people because I am, as I said myself, not even a typical human being in this case and I really feel that those things might actually have played something in my life.
We have to do more research about their social and emotional functioning.
You are talking about more than an environmental factor, it is also about how much of your brain it has to do with autism. That your brain has to do more than you think.
So what about to-do-you stuff?
The things you are doing, don’t mean you are helping people.
This is true, for everyone, even to adults.
The problems
Diane, on November 12, 1997, said, ·
> This seems to apply to anybody with this sort of problems. It is not as good as we would think. You see people with a severe form of autism, or those who have no special or special disability which does not fit in with what we are talking about, are there any kind of therapy for them? If people feel they can never go to school or play in their field with a specific disability they might be encouraged to get help. But at best one or many therapies may work but a vast number of people feel they are not at all able to achieve those goals. Or at worst they think it is just too hard and it takes too long.
J, on June 16, 1996, said, ·
> People with autism need the best and most up-to-date treatment. Unfortunately, they still do.
I am an autism survivor myself, who was diagnosed with a form of developmental-disorder. I started as a teenager, and the first course of treatment that we went through was the first step towards getting the medication into my body.
You have to have a history of mental disorder which you also have. You usually experience feelings of sadness and anxiety about the condition, which makes it harder and harder to get at it. You can be very anxious about the fact that even if this is all you can do to get good grades and a job eventually it takes a long time or even more to get enough mental health attention.
I think that, though, is something that may be true, and that we need to know enough about what happens when we have a form of autism that is more responsive to our social environment and is less affected by what we might say to others.
The things that seem to lead people to think it is the disease that makes us sad but may be a part of human nature and that they may be helpful to people because I am, as I said myself, not even a typical human being in this case and I really feel that those things might actually have played something in my life.
We have to do more research about their social and emotional functioning.
You are talking about more than an environmental factor, it is also about how much of your brain it has to do with autism. That your brain has to do more than you think.
So what about to-do-you stuff?
The things you are doing, don’t mean you are helping people.
This is true, for everyone, even to adults.
The problems
Diane, on November 12, 1997, said, ·
> This seems to apply to anybody with this sort of problems. It is not as good as we would think. You see people with a severe form of autism, or those who have no special or special disability which does not fit in with what we are talking about, are there any kind of therapy for them? If people feel they can never go to school or play in their field with a specific disability they might be encouraged to get help. But at best one or many therapies may work but a vast number of people feel they are not at all able to achieve those goals. Or at worst they think it is just too hard and it takes too long.
J, on June 16, 1996, said, ·
> People with autism need the best and most up-to-date treatment. Unfortunately, they still do.
I am an autism survivor myself, who was diagnosed with a form of developmental-disorder. I started as a teenager, and the first course of treatment that we went through was the first step towards getting the medication into my body.
You have to have a history of mental disorder which you also have. You usually experience feelings of sadness and anxiety about the condition, which makes it harder and harder to get at it. You can be very anxious about the fact that even if this is all you can do to get good grades and a job eventually it takes a long time or even more to get enough mental health attention.
I think that, though, is something that may be true, and that we need to know enough about what happens when we have a form of autism that is more responsive to our social environment and is less affected by what we might say to others.
The things that seem to lead people to think it is the disease that makes us sad but may be a part of human nature and that they may be helpful to people because I am, as I said myself, not even a typical human being in this case and I really feel that those things might actually have played something in my life.
We have to do more research about their social and emotional functioning.
You are talking about more than an environmental factor, it is also about how much of your brain it has to do with autism. That your brain has to do more than you think.
So what about to-do-you stuff?
The things you are doing, don’t mean you are helping people.
This is true, for everyone, even to adults.
The problems
Diane, on November 12, 1997, said, ·
> This seems to apply to anybody with this sort of problems. It is not as good as we would think. You see people with a severe form of autism, or those who have no special or special disability which does not fit in with what we are talking about, are there any kind of therapy for them? If people feel they can never go to school or play in their field with a specific disability they might be encouraged to get help. But at best one or many therapies may work but a vast number of people feel they are not at all able to achieve those goals. Or at worst they think it is just too hard and it takes too long.
J, on June 16, 1996, said, ·
> People with autism need the best and most up-to-date treatment. Unfortunately, they still do.
I am an autism survivor myself, who was diagnosed with a form of developmental-disorder. I started as a teenager, and the first course of treatment that we went through was the first step towards getting the medication into my body.
You have to have a history of mental disorder which you also have. You usually experience feelings of sadness and anxiety about the condition, which makes it harder and harder to get at it. You can be very anxious about the fact that even if this is all you can do to get good grades and a job eventually it takes a long time or even more to get enough mental health attention.
I think that, though, is something that may be true, and that we need to know enough about what happens when we have a form of autism that is more responsive to our social environment and is less affected by what we might say to others.
The things that seem to lead people to think it is the disease that makes us sad but may be a part of human nature and that they may be helpful to people because I am, as I said myself, not even a typical human being in this case and I really feel that those things might actually have played something in my life.
We have to do more research about their social and emotional functioning.
You are talking about more than an environmental factor, it is also about how much of your brain it has to do with autism. That your brain has to do more than you think.
So what about to-do-you stuff?
The things you are doing, don’t mean you are helping people.
This is true, for everyone, even to adults.
The problems
Diane, on November 12, 1997, said, ·
> This seems to apply to anybody with this sort of problems. It is not as good as we would think. You see people with a severe form of autism, or those who have no special or special disability which does not fit in with what we are talking about, are there any kind of therapy for them? If people feel they can never go to school or play in their field with a specific disability they might be encouraged to get help. But at best one or many therapies may work but a vast number of people feel they are not at all able to achieve those goals. Or at worst they think it is just too hard and it takes too long.
J, on June 16, 1996, said, ·
> People with autism need the best and most up-to-date treatment. Unfortunately, they still do.
I am an autism survivor myself, who was diagnosed with a form of developmental-disorder. I started as a teenager, and the first course of treatment that we went through was the first step towards getting the medication into my body.
You have to have a history of mental disorder which you also have. You usually experience feelings of sadness and anxiety about the condition, which makes it harder and harder to get at it. You can be very anxious about the fact that even if this is all you can do to get good grades and a job eventually it takes a long time or even more to get enough mental health attention.
I think that, though, is something that may be true, and that we need to know enough about what happens when we have a form of autism that is more responsive to our social environment and is less affected by what we might say to others.
The things that seem to lead people to think it is the disease that makes us sad but may be a part of human nature and that they may be helpful to people because I am, as I said myself, not even a typical human being in this case and I really feel that those things might actually have played something in my life.
We have to do more research about their social and emotional functioning.
You are talking about more than an environmental factor, it is also about how much of your brain it has to do with autism. That your brain has to do more than you think.
So what about to-do-you stuff?
The things you are doing, don’t mean you are helping people.
This is true, for everyone, even to adults.
The problems
I have deliberately turned my back on the house. It is three rooms, just like the one that burned, except the roof is tin; they dont make shingle roofs any more. There are no real windows, just some holes cut in the side, like the portholes in a ship, but not round and not square, with rawhide holding the shutters up on the outside. No doubt when Dee sees it she will want to tear it down. She wrote me once that no