Work and Family Changes in Middle Adutlhood
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In my opinion the most difficult change during middle adulthood in relation to family life is caring for aging parents. If a person has siblings, then right off the bat there will be a conflict over who will be the primary caregiver. Generally this task will fall to a daughter or daughter in law (Boyd/Bee, pg. 151 “No Easy Answers”). Perhaps this is because daughters seem to closer, in both proximity and emotion, to their parents than some sons.
There is also the issue of how to care for the aging parents. Many people cant afford nursing homes (or assisted living communities) and sometimes even if they can afford long term care they feel guilty for placing their parents in a home.
The adult child who cares for their aging parents suffers a great deal of role conflict. Trying to care for their parents, work a job and go to the childrens extracurricular activities can be overwhelming and they find no time for themselves. Needless to say this takes a toll on a person. Caregivers are more depressed, have marriage problems and even have a less efficient immune system. This is also known as the “caregiver burden” (Boyd/Bee, pg. 152)
I saw this with my mother when she was taking care of my grandmother (my “granny”). My mother was the only one of her siblings that lived in the same town as Granny. Mom would take her to the store, do her housework, take her to her doctors appointments, etc. Once in awhile one of the other siblings would help for a couple of hours but overall they were fairly useless. I saw my mothers health decline, her and my father fought frequently because my dad felt abandoned. Sadly, my granny died shortly after a hip replacement surgery two years ago. While things between her and my father are better now, she feels she has no purpose in life because so many of these past years were filled taking care of Granny.
In regard to work life, I think the most difficult change would be an involuntary career change, such as being laid off or fired. Any type of midlife career change would be difficult because of the ageist attitudes of some employers who tend to think younger people are more capable at learning new job skills than middle aged applicants. However with an involuntary career change the effects are more staggering. People who have been laid off, fired or “phased out” feel more anxious and