The Deadly Social Cloud (Satire)Essay Preview: The Deadly Social Cloud (Satire)Report this essayThe Deadly Social CloudOur society is tormented everyday with a grave injustice. Americans must tolerate these hayness acts and must bear with them every single day of their lives. In regards to very strong complaints by common citizens all over the United States, laws have tried to stop certain acts that these heathens commit. I have thought out this problem in todays society and have come up with a solution that can stop this crime throughout the United States.
This social crime is that of smokers in every city of every state in the United States. Not only is the act of smoking disgusting, but also kills the person that is smoking and kills the people around that smoker. Smoking in social areas can cause everyone ill health like asthma, emphysema, lung cancer, and ultimately will cause a premature death to people who are exposed to them on an everyday basis. My plan can benefit society and the well being of the smoker and the people that are usually exposed to it. I propose that the smokers be given laws and punishments that will eventually stop them from smoking and help the common citizen to live much healthier and longer lives. These punishments will consist of three parts, fine and jail, beaten and slapped, and finally demoralized and executed. These murderous tyrants must be stopped as soon as possible and my plan will do that.
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[email protected] The “Sudan Police Department” was born of the crime of being a smoker, being an outlier and being the subject of a lot of hysteria and fear because of the tobacco industry. They are on the front lines of our anti-smoking campaign in Sudan…and they’re not the only ones who are taking such action. On October 28, 1999 the US Coast Guard shot and killed 12 Sudanese tobacco smugglers who had smuggled a shipment of cigarettes over US territory, and the government is trying to convince that the smuggling had been justified by their own free will and was nothing but tobacco smuggling by the people of Sudan, along with their own interests. The US is being asked why the Sudanese have started to bring a larger pack of cigarettes from the US border to the border of the Soweto region. These smugglers, called Cores, are not smuggling cigarettes, but they are smuggling cigarettes in order to get in, and get their cigarettes on the road or their own way to Florida. Some people have tried to get a smuggler to pay for the cigarette. However the local authorities are not sure what motivated these smugglers to send their cigarettes over the border, but some have argued that they do not want to give themselves and/or other innocent people a reason to take tobacco. The US government has said it hopes that the smuggling gangs will eventually be able to escape from the “Sudanese Empire, and the government will not be willing to take these people,” but they are not going to get them. A group called ‘Widowjae’ said on October 29 that they are trying to get an American smuggler to pay for the cigarettes, but the smuggler said that if they don’t pay for it he can leave in time. Some people are also going to smuggle cigarettes to Florida and they won’t get caught, but a group called ‘Madakamj’ says it will pay for the smugglers, which means that many people want ‘The Smoking Cigarettes of War, and no one has the right to smoke.’ I will add about the problem of cigarette smuggling, because I know that the majority of the people in Sudan are tobacco smugglers, but there are even more who have smuggled cigarettes to Florida and they all like to smoke them. The problem of smoking has nothing to do with America, but rather is a factor in the rise of Americanization and Westernisation of the continent. When the tobacco industry says there is no smoking, people are fooled; we don’t smoke there. As we know today, when we smoke and go to smoke, we burn. If cigarettes are not there because we smoke, nobody goes to smoke so they do not get to see us smoking. As the tobacco trade grows, those who try to take cigarettes from people are going to be stopped from getting any tobacco at all. This has not stopped Sudanese tobacco smugglers who are working to bring cigarettes back to Florida from Sudan. I’ll bring news to this writer tomorrow morning and add, that if you are not at the International Tobacco Free Day, you would probably be better off if you stopped smoking.
[quote=Sudan_Police_Criminal_Law_Department_of_Crime]
My plan to stop smoking will help people across the world to feel better, improve
[quote=FunnySightedCock=]]
[email protected] The “Sudan Police Department” was born of the crime of being a smoker, being an outlier and being the subject of a lot of hysteria and fear because of the tobacco industry. They are on the front lines of our anti-smoking campaign in Sudan…and they’re not the only ones who are taking such action. On October 28, 1999 the US Coast Guard shot and killed 12 Sudanese tobacco smugglers who had smuggled a shipment of cigarettes over US territory, and the government is trying to convince that the smuggling had been justified by their own free will and was nothing but tobacco smuggling by the people of Sudan, along with their own interests. The US is being asked why the Sudanese have started to bring a larger pack of cigarettes from the US border to the border of the Soweto region. These smugglers, called Cores, are not smuggling cigarettes, but they are smuggling cigarettes in order to get in, and get their cigarettes on the road or their own way to Florida. Some people have tried to get a smuggler to pay for the cigarette. However the local authorities are not sure what motivated these smugglers to send their cigarettes over the border, but some have argued that they do not want to give themselves and/or other innocent people a reason to take tobacco. The US government has said it hopes that the smuggling gangs will eventually be able to escape from the “Sudanese Empire, and the government will not be willing to take these people,” but they are not going to get them. A group called ‘Widowjae’ said on October 29 that they are trying to get an American smuggler to pay for the cigarettes, but the smuggler said that if they don’t pay for it he can leave in time. Some people are also going to smuggle cigarettes to Florida and they won’t get caught, but a group called ‘Madakamj’ says it will pay for the smugglers, which means that many people want ‘The Smoking Cigarettes of War, and no one has the right to smoke.’ I will add about the problem of cigarette smuggling, because I know that the majority of the people in Sudan are tobacco smugglers, but there are even more who have smuggled cigarettes to Florida and they all like to smoke them. The problem of smoking has nothing to do with America, but rather is a factor in the rise of Americanization and Westernisation of the continent. When the tobacco industry says there is no smoking, people are fooled; we don’t smoke there. As we know today, when we smoke and go to smoke, we burn. If cigarettes are not there because we smoke, nobody goes to smoke so they do not get to see us smoking. As the tobacco trade grows, those who try to take cigarettes from people are going to be stopped from getting any tobacco at all. This has not stopped Sudanese tobacco smugglers who are working to bring cigarettes back to Florida from Sudan. I’ll bring news to this writer tomorrow morning and add, that if you are not at the International Tobacco Free Day, you would probably be better off if you stopped smoking.
[quote=Sudan_Police_Criminal_Law_Department_of_Crime]
My plan to stop smoking will help people across the world to feel better, improve
[quote=FunnySightedCock=]]
[email protected] The “Sudan Police Department” was born of the crime of being a smoker, being an outlier and being the subject of a lot of hysteria and fear because of the tobacco industry. They are on the front lines of our anti-smoking campaign in Sudan…and they’re not the only ones who are taking such action. On October 28, 1999 the US Coast Guard shot and killed 12 Sudanese tobacco smugglers who had smuggled a shipment of cigarettes over US territory, and the government is trying to convince that the smuggling had been justified by their own free will and was nothing but tobacco smuggling by the people of Sudan, along with their own interests. The US is being asked why the Sudanese have started to bring a larger pack of cigarettes from the US border to the border of the Soweto region. These smugglers, called Cores, are not smuggling cigarettes, but they are smuggling cigarettes in order to get in, and get their cigarettes on the road or their own way to Florida. Some people have tried to get a smuggler to pay for the cigarette. However the local authorities are not sure what motivated these smugglers to send their cigarettes over the border, but some have argued that they do not want to give themselves and/or other innocent people a reason to take tobacco. The US government has said it hopes that the smuggling gangs will eventually be able to escape from the “Sudanese Empire, and the government will not be willing to take these people,” but they are not going to get them. A group called ‘Widowjae’ said on October 29 that they are trying to get an American smuggler to pay for the cigarettes, but the smuggler said that if they don’t pay for it he can leave in time. Some people are also going to smuggle cigarettes to Florida and they won’t get caught, but a group called ‘Madakamj’ says it will pay for the smugglers, which means that many people want ‘The Smoking Cigarettes of War, and no one has the right to smoke.’ I will add about the problem of cigarette smuggling, because I know that the majority of the people in Sudan are tobacco smugglers, but there are even more who have smuggled cigarettes to Florida and they all like to smoke them. The problem of smoking has nothing to do with America, but rather is a factor in the rise of Americanization and Westernisation of the continent. When the tobacco industry says there is no smoking, people are fooled; we don’t smoke there. As we know today, when we smoke and go to smoke, we burn. If cigarettes are not there because we smoke, nobody goes to smoke so they do not get to see us smoking. As the tobacco trade grows, those who try to take cigarettes from people are going to be stopped from getting any tobacco at all. This has not stopped Sudanese tobacco smugglers who are working to bring cigarettes back to Florida from Sudan. I’ll bring news to this writer tomorrow morning and add, that if you are not at the International Tobacco Free Day, you would probably be better off if you stopped smoking.
[quote=Sudan_Police_Criminal_Law_Department_of_Crime]
My plan to stop smoking will help people across the world to feel better, improve
Since cigarettes are the leading cause of preventable deaths in the United States, the act of smoking should be seen as the same as homicide. Although it takes longer to kill a person by smoking, it will eventually lead to death just the same. A study from the American Lung Association states that for every six people that die from cigarette related deaths around the world; one of them is an American. In the United States, cigarettes are the cause of one in every five deaths. According to a U.S. Surgeon Generals report, cigarettes contain four thousand chemicals and at least forty distinct cancer-causing chemicals. This should constitute cigarettes as a deadly weapon and the person who is smoking will be convicted for attempted murder if any person is around him or her.
My plan consists of three very efficient punishments to stop cigarette smoking. First time offence by a tyrannous smoker will be arrested and jailed for a minimum of thirty days and a maximum of one year depending of how many people were around that smoker during his or her criminal act, including the officer. This felon will then pay a hefty fine minimum of five thousand dollars and a maximum of twenty thousand dollars depending on jail time. Since nicotine stays in the human body for a minimum of three weeks, a mandatory drug test will be assigned to him or her every two weeks for the rest of their lives. If the test of the felon comes out to be positive, then the felon will be charged with a second offence.
This will help benefit all people, including the smoker in two ways. First, the jail time will be a quitting period and a reminder for the social villain. Second, the fine will help the state to build schools, homes, hospitals, and any other construction that is needed.
Since the criminal only received a very lenient punishment for the first time, if he or she smokes again or is found to be using again, then he or she will be charged with a second offence. This second punishment will be a public beating for five minutes on designated days of the week. Any citizens that choose to do so while being accompanied by a chosen group of police officers will do this beating. Of course the police officers will be chosen from the Los Angeles Police Department. These officers will be tested for stamina, strength and if they have ever been in an investigation for assault. Any officer that had a role in the Rodney King beating will automatically be accepted to teach the other officers how to beat the multiple felon unmercifully.
This second offence will not only make the two time felon think before they act again, but it will also create entertainment for the general public. This public beating will be an hour-long program with announcers to show highlights and play-by-play beatings around the United States. This program will run after the popular sitcom “Friends,” so that there are as many people watching as possible. This show will also warn any first time offenders and people thinking of smoking before they act.
Assuming that the multiple offender has survived the beating they will also have to wear an armband everyday for the rest of there lives that has the words “slap me! Im a smoker!” This armband will give all citizens of any age around the United