The Pillow Method
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Cognitive complexity to me is what shapes our perceptions. Empathy is sharing feelings and getting very involved in communicating with the opposite person.
Just the other day I went home on a weekend to visit my family. When I got home I was telling about a truck that I saw that I wanted to buy. As soon as I brought the idea up to him he said it would be a bad idea spending that much money on a vehicle while I am in school. I strongly disagreed with him. We exchanged words for a few minutes but I realized the argument was going nowhere so I just dropped the idea all together.
If I was using position one of the pillow method where I was right and he was wrong I would have stuck with the argument. It was the truck that I had grown up wanting to buy. Sure it was quite a bit of money but it was a good deal and it is hard to pass those up. I would have been fine for funds for the rest of school and everything would have been fine.
Then I would have used position two. He was right about the truck. It was quite a bit of money, especially while I was attending college without a steady income. The truck got worse mileage than my current vehicle and the price to insure it would have been ridiculous. It was not a practical truck for a college student and would have ran me broke very fast.
Then there is position three. He was right about the money. In the same token I had the money to afford it, it would have just been cutting it close. The truck would have been unpractical for college years. Your only young once though and owning cool cars will phase out eventually so I might as well enjoy it while I can.
After the whole argument I realized something. I dont need a truck. There is no reason to purchase that truck because I just bought a newer truck a few months ago. My truck right now is way more practical than that truck is and is a lot cheaper to fuel and maintain also. So who spend the money when my current vehicle is perfectly fine? It was just a kid moment and one day I will realize how dumb it was.
Overall this was a very good argument and both of us had very good points. In the end I gave in and let him win. But hey, at least I tried. I am glad he convinced me out of it because now I realize how dumb the idea was.
In this argument we both showed empathy to each other. We agreed with some of each others points and disagreed with the others points also. It was a great learning experience and will benefit me later on in life.