Grendel
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The novel, Grendel by John Gardner, is essentially an autobiographical chronology of a forest dwelling monster. Grendel tells his story beginning from childhood innocence to his murderous adulthood. Grendel, alone in the forest, is psycologicaly isolated. Even his own mother can only render dull expressions without language. Try as she might Grendels mother has no way of explaining even the simplest question of who Gredels father might be. Grendel has no one to who he can talk to. ” Holding conversation with the only friend and comfort this world affords, my shadow.”(8) No mater his efforts, Grendel is one solitary monster who can not bring truth and reason to his own existence.
Grendel, both secluded from beings of his level of intellect and surrounded by other animals in the forest, found himself frustrated. He dislikes the ignorance of these animals; however, believed that this was the source of their happiness. “That is their happiness: they see all life without observing it.”(8) This frustrated Grendel; however, it was Grendels ability to observe and interpret his surroundings that brought him sadness and loneliness. Instead of taking part in pleasing himself with what most monsters should, he spent his time observing the lives of humans and then comparing it to his own which he didnt understand himself. Unfortunately, Grendel has not one soul he can rely on to ease the confusion he has about the universe and its unforgiving nature. ” I tried to tell her (Grendels Mother) all that had happened, all that Id come to understand: the meaningless objectiveness of the world, the universal brutness.”(28) While Grendel is beginning to have all these new inhibitions and epiphanies it is slowly eating him up inside because he has no one to relay all his feelings to. Now more than ever Grendel is beginning to think of the world and the universe as larger than himself; however, he being the only one with half a brain, creates his own reality. There is nothing interfering with his personal interpretation of reality. ” I understood that the world was nothing: a mechanical chaos of casual, brute enmity we stupidly impose our hopes and fears. I understood that, finally and absolutely I alone exist. All the rest, I saw, Is mearly what pushes me, or what I push against, blindly…I create the whole universe, blink by blink”(21-22) Grendels solitary life has not only given him confusion and sadness it has also created a universe that only he experiences, and that only he belongs to. A universe that only he creates. Although later experiences will quickly change this philosophy and lead him to a new realm of being.
While stuck in a tree one day Grendel was run upon by a band of men, (Sheildings a local kingdom). They where so confused as to what he might be, a tree spirit, a monster none of them were sure. What Grendel notices about them was their intelligence. He has seen no other creature in the forest think and react quite like them. He has met his match. ” …suddenly I knew I was dealing with no dull mechanical bull but with thinking creatures, pattern makers, the most dangerous things Id ever met (27).” Now Grendel needs to change his concept of reality, he is no longer the only emotionally sentient being in the universe.
It was good that Grendel had now finally encountered what he had been longing for his whole life; other cognitive beings who think, feel and speak just like him. However, the fear he unintentionally inflicted on the humans, just being a monster, was enough to send his hopes of finally understanding his place in the universe plummeting to the ground.
Grendel would later spend his time watching the Sheildings, interpreting their behavior, searching for meaning within his own life by comparing and contrasting his life to theirs. This would do him no good. As time went on Grendels interest grew rapidly into hatred and resentment. “It wasnt until later, when I was full grown and Hrothgar (the king of the Sheildings) was an old, old man that I settled my soul on destroying him-slowly and cruelly.”(30) Grendel has become grossly resentful of the Sheildings. Instead of pleasing himself with what an ordinary monster might enjoy, Grendel spends his time trying to interpret who he is in relation to the humans he has now encountered. It is as if he now needs to rethink his place in the universe with the Sheildings in mind.
It didnt take long for Grendel to see the destructive power of the Shieldings. It was their intelligence that set them apart from the rest of the animal kingdom and this alone would corrupt the mind of Grendel more than any other encounter he is to have or has had in the past. It was Grendels exposure to the brute force of man that drove him to insanity. ” There was nothing to stop the advance of man. huge boars fled at the click of a harness. wolves would cower in the glens like foxes when they caught that deadly scent. I was filled with a wordless, obscure murderous unrest.”(40) Just as the humans feared Grendel; Grendel feared the humans. He was scared of what they represented and the reality that they brought to his self created and self preserved universe. In the eyes of Grendel, the Sheildings broke the seal of the bubble that had been created.
The character that revealed the new world that Grendel is now apart of in a verbal and narrative fashion was the Harper. It would be the songs and lyrics of this musician that would influence the later growth of our elusive monster. ” He told of an ancient feud between two brothers which split all the world between darkness and light. And I, Grendel, was the dark side, he said in effect the terrible race God cursed.”(51) The songs that the Harper played would leave a lasting impact on Grendel. After a time he began to believe every thing the Harper sang. This causee Grendels anger and resentment to soar. ” I wanted it, as they did too, though vicious animals, cunning, cracked with theories. I wanted it, yes! Even if I must be the outcast, cursed by the rules of his hideous fable.”(55) Grendel eventually accepted his position in the retrospect of his surroundings. The Harper spoke of him as being evil and cursed so he accepted his role and began to believe it. “It was one thing to eat one from time to time-that was only natural: kept them from overpopulating, maybe starving to death, come winter-but was another thing to scare them, give them heart attacks, fill their nights with nightmares, just for sport.”(60-61) This was it, Grendel had made the transformation and there was no turning back. He will be a killer till his death.
Frightened and confused of his own emotions Grendel , with no one to console him and still his burning desire to understand