Essay About High School Experience And Schools Parking Lot

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My Knight in Rusty Armour
By Katelyn Chambers
Prompt: Ella Spencer, 19, is reminiscing about her high school experience and the painful events of the past year.
Id heard all the stories about high school and about how great it was supposed to be, but all Id learned there was how much Id hated stereotypical teenagers and the fucking pythagorean theorem. And I realized that I hadnt made the most of my time there. And Id hoped -Id PRAYED -for something, ANYTHING, to give that last year of my time there meaning. And then, right when I thought Id had enough and I was just ready to give it all up, a knight in shining armour rode in and saved the day. My knights name was Eric Gray and he drove up in a shiny black Charger. Id thought it was finally my chance at having the happily ever after wed learned to believe in as children. Wed seen each other from across the schools parking lot and thats when Id thought Id surely fallen in love. Well, Ive thought about it a lot since then and Ive come to the conclusion that this whole thing could have been avoided if I had just seen the person next to him. I could have learned to love them instead. Then maybe I wouldnt be here today, and I wouldnt have had to put up with a year of pain. I know after all wed been through its hard to believe, but its true. Nevertheless, throughout that entire time I loved him. I had never stopped. And I still havent. Thats whats so pathetic. Eric had hurt me so many times over that past year; emotionally, mentally, physically!! And Id always go back to him. Well there is no more next times. That was the last time. I was so sick of it. I loved Eric, but I couldnt take being abandoned and hurt over and over again. It was an awful experience, and I understand that now. But I used to pretend that it was all I wanted. I was only lying to myself. I denied that I was vulnerable and hurting, but more importantly that I was allowing the pain to continue. And when I look at him now, and my eyes are filled with so much suffering that I can barely keep them open, he doesnt see it. Why cant he see?! Look at me! Look at me stand here and see what HES done to me. Ill be alright though, because I will have known that I tried. That I did everything I could have done to make him love me, and that just wasnt enough. So now Ive got to rebuild what he so carelessly destroyed . Its time for me to be my own hero.