Cheese in 1942
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Back in 1942, Jesus created one good thing, and one bad thing. The good thing was cheese; the other was the female sex. Cheese comes in many different forms, such as cheddar and american. Women just come in bitch form. I also like grilled cheese, but apparently its illegal to make grilled women, who would have known?
So after 10 years in prison, I have finally have come to the conclusion that women hate cheese. Why do you ask? Because women hate things that are better then them. Cheese doesnt ignore its calls, or sleep with your best friend. Yeah, Im talking about you. I fucking hate you. Whyd you leave me? I still love you. Please come back. I need you back.
Remember when we went to Ruby Tuesday on our first date? Yeah. I remember. You ordered a burger, yeah, just a burger, not a cheeseburger. You dumb whore. Now I just sit alone in that same booth every Saturday night. Lucky that waiter named Hank brings me slices of cheese for free as I sit there alone. Oh so alone.
I hope you have fun with Mr. “Im so good looking”. I hope you think about me as I sit here looking at your picture eating my ice cream. This vanilla ice cream which smells like your hair. I still have my hair doll I made. It looks more and more like you every day. I just might die because of you. You or this ice cream, because Im lactose intolerant. But it doesnt matter; nothing matters. Come back to me. Please? Oh ice cream, you taste so good.
They should really make a cheese ice cream. They could call it Cheese Cream. That would sell millions, hell, Id buy at least 4 of em. People will eat it and be like “This is better then sex with that dumb slut who left me”. Yeah. It will taste so good. Oh so good. Oh Id love it. Creamy goodness of the cheese.
Mom, if you are reading this. I just wanted to say that Im sorry. I promise I will clean my room. You just had to be a dumb whore and add ham to my grilled cheese. You should come home, dad is worried and is sex deprived. He keeps looking at Spike weird. You just left to get milk from the gas station, which was 4 months ago. Please come back. I love you. And bring some ice cream, this one is all melted and eaten.