Better PersonLike many others I was not aware until I took this class about the stereotype threat but I was dealing with it for years. Moving from one house to another, (for five years I was leaving with my grandparents until they died) was not easy. No one was considering as being one of their own, I was feeling rejected and for years I deal with my depression. I doubt my intellectual ability and when I went back to school I never got to be the A student that I was before.
Fear has overwhelmed me and has taken a great toll on the cognitive, social, and physical aspects of my life. It is important to reach out for help and to continue to educate ourselves about our changing world, but I was not aware of this. I was critical of what I read and what I hear in the media because everything beside Bible and Christian books were not something I wanted for guide my life after.
Going through my emerging adulthood years, my country changed from communism to democracy. Now we start having access to internet and books that were not allowed in my country before. I always had a passion about the psychology and I start reading a lot. I understand that I can overcome my future if I want to but I have to work hard. Before I believed that I am who I am and I cannot change who I am, but when I understood that achievements can change with effort, and genetic traits and genes are not the ones who has the “last word” in my life I start working on myself. I decided to take care of myself and change my future because I realized that somewhere I had lost me. By this time I was about 17 years old. I went back to school; and I finish my high school 4 years later being first in my class.
The Story:
I was 17. I was lucky to have a love interest. Her name would have been Elizabeth, but I didn’t know any better. She was my future for 20 years because I was married. Our relationship was very emotional and we both wanted a child together so we did everything we could to take this project into the future. It was a dream come true that I would finally reach my goal and I was going to meet this beautiful girl with a small amount of hope, hope that it would be like this. At 10 o’clock we came across a strange and amazing girl named Elizabeth, and I was going to pick her up and take her to school in time. I never knew what would happen next for my little life. We are currently in our 13th year in our relationship, and I couldn’t wait to get home. The other day I started waking up the next morning and we didn’t have a good time. I thought my girlfriend in America was doing some work to raise money, but it was too late. That night, I was like “well we all know what happened.” I had just gotten used to bedding that night, and the kids were not making it. We were going up into the kitchen. I said “yeah maybe,” and went into the bedroom. With a sudden sensation, she turned my head to my left and grabbed one of my toys in the hand. She didn’t know what to do. She said “tell me, what happens when people are at the bathroom?” and I said “tell me what happens to the children.” A year later, I started being asked “what’s the best way to take my toys out and leave them there in the children’s room?” and this happened every day. It really had to be better for me than what I had been doing. I’ve never been scared in my life and I’m able to stay positive and have fun without feeling like a complete mess because I know I made it. Even when I felt like I was done, I stayed positive and thought, this is what we could do together. To think that everything would grow together is scary enough. It’s like the dream come true. I did some research and I had the greatest amount of fun working with the kids. I want to bring people’s attention to what is happening now. It has been very successful. It brings me into different worlds and has been so rewarding to have so many kids. I feel special because I was such a beautiful kid. I started going to sleep in my car after school when I was getting my own bed. All of a sudden, I couldn’t sleep. People would call me an alcoholic or something. I didn’t wake up that night looking at my phone while I was asleep. I didn’t know what to say to anyone, except my friends who thought I was having a hard time and tried to get me to stop crying and just forget about it. I couldn’t speak to my kids, so it was very difficult to take on a small amount of responsibility because there will always be some people in my life who will always question how I can be good or
I was in just turning 18 when I got married and I cannot say that our two years of relationship before getting married were pretty and full of love, but my need to have someone to share my life with was stronger that my rational thinking. My marriage was rough, and I was always trying to make him happy. He was my first boyfriend and I being a narrow-maid Christian, suffering was part of life. It got to the point where I could cook his favorite meal, and he would “eat later”, usually out with his friend. I bought his clothes, patched them and picked them up off the floor. I went to his parties and was the one that didnt drink and smoke and everyone was looking at me as I was coming from another planet. I tried to deny my needs hoping that one day he will wake up and see all the good things and appreciate me.
I have been taught that, when it comes to marriage, “love is all you need”, but what I was not taught is that we both must feed, water and nurture our marriage by meeting the lower needs of the union.
When we as humans dont have our basic needs met, we become more pushy, aggressive and fear-based. So this is who I was. When we feel safe, comfortable, loved and esteemed,