Friendship According to Epicurus
Friendship According to Epicurus
Epicurus, generally an egotistical hedonist, strays away from that characteristic when he discusses the issue of friendship. As a hedonistic philosopher, he believed that ones life should be devoted to the pursuit of pleasure, especially pleasure in regards to the senses. Anything that causes pleasure is good therefore worth pursuing. However, while discussing friendship, Epicurus shows a true altruism toward the subject. Altruism is the unselfish concern for others. An altruist will reflect upon the welfare of others before his/her own. Altruism is a genuinely selfless characteristic that completely contradicts other ideas and concepts presented by Epicurus. However, I do see this pattern of beliefs as neither contradictory nor inconsistent. Considering Epicurus love for friendship, I believe he saw friendship as just another means of attaining pleasure. During his lifetime, Epicurus lived in solitary with only a limited number of people whom he considered his friends. He called this small community “the garden” and each day consisted of reflection, gardening and relaxation, all in attempt to gain some sort of pleasure. Believing in the true power of friendship, Epicurus believed a life without friendship is one with loneliness and many problems. When it concerns friends who have passed away, he states that meditation rather than lamentation is not only more beneficial but pleasing. We should look back at the times we had with our friends rather than mourning their passing. “Sweet is the memory of the friend who is dead.” Even though a friend has lost their life, he/she has not lost their inspiration and influence. Epicurus also conceives that a true friend will not continually ask for help, rather they will always associate help with friendship. In order for a friendship to exist, Epicurus believed friends must treat each other as well as they treat themselves. Coincidentally, that also happens to be the ultimate and greatest commandment of Jesus Christ.
I think Epicurus is very accurate in describing the enigma of friendship. Scientifically, human beings are just another form of animal. Our body structures are very similar to that of the pig and our mental capacity is not too far ahead of the chimpanzee. However, something is obviously different. Never have I seen two ladybugs mingling on a windowsill. Lions in the wild would rather kill each other than share a piece of rotting flesh. The reason is I believe there an innate need for friendship that exists in human beings. So rather than calling friendship a privilege, characteristic or desire, I think it falls under the category of instinct. In a world where evil outlives good, crime is rampant and ignorance and selfishness is plentiful, friends are the one thing a person can depend on. A friend will always be by your side, reluctant to interrupt and anxious to listen. True friends accompany each other through the sunshine and the rain. When something good happens to somebody, the first thing that person does is tell a friend to tell him/her about it. When something horrible happens, the first thing a person does is look to a friend for comfort and soothing. A wise man once said, “A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a great friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn that was fun.”
Epicurus believed a friendship could only exist when a mutual love, trust and respect existed between two people. These three virtues constitute friendship in my eyes as well as the ancient philosophers. A person who respects and trusts someone, but does not love them is not a friend but more like a business partner. An older brother is more likely to respect and love their younger brother, but never trust him. The point is a friend can not be considered a friend unless the virtues of love, respect and trust