Essay About Legitimate Motives And Details Of The Affair

Should I Spy?
Should I Spy?
By Dr. Robert Huizenga
If you are a spouse who suspects your partner might be having an
affair, wants to find out if he/she is telling the truth or has a need to
discover details of the affair, this article is for you.
The desire, sometime a fairly strong desire to spy or find out
exactly what is happening between your partner and the other
person, is commonly very strong, especially at disclosure of the
affair or prior to that when you sense that something is off kilter.
7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself.
Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or
questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you
confronted him/her and it was met with denial. This created a huge
dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this
doesnt fit! I dont believe it!
To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a
tremendous internal turmoil.
If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath
and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY!
Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully
your gut feelings.
2. Spying may help you feel connected to your partner who
seems to be steadily moving away from you. It is a way of
maintaining contact and have some sort of connection to this stranger
who once was well known.
Isnt it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children?
Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game
is at least some contact, ()some involvement. You miss the connection
and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the
relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does
not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know
what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait.
You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You
want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life.
You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might
be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to
know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.
4. If you suspect that this behavior might be the end of the
relationship, you want to protect yourself legally.
If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other
forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the
relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court
systems.
Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of
affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through
my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you.
If your spouse is someone who cant say no, doesnt want to
say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take
protective steps.
5. You want to protect yourself medically. You might be
concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at