Donating Eggs
If I decided to donate my eggs in college and the child that was brought into this world with my eggs, wanted to visit me, I would be shocked. Questions like “How did she find me? Does she look like me? I wonder if she has the same habits as me” would keep on running around in my mind. But at first I would be outraged at the fact that she found me because I definitely remembered myself signing a contract that made my donation anonymous. I would be mad at the clinic and would wonder how they could expose my name into the donorsiblingregistry.com
Even though I would hesitate to meet this child, I would eventually decide to meet this child. I would feel like I would have no strong connection to her, because at that time I needed the money and couldnt afford to allow my feelings to mix in with my decision. But as a grown woman I start to have a little feelings of regret because I know that any child ,even if they were born into a loving and caring family will still have a feeling of un-belonging. I wonder if the child that was potentially conceived through my donation would wonder about their biological origin and be distressed. I would most likely meet her out of curiosity of how she acts and how she looks.
Upon meeting her I see that she resembles me and I do have a sense of connection. The saying “Blood is thicker than water comes into my mind.” I also see that she resembles me a lot. But I would not consider her as my “child,” and I too hope that she wont consider me as her “mother.” To me the definition of being a “mother” is one who takes care of her children, help them grow, and would die for them. I also think that a donor is just simply a genetic donor. This is very different from the term “mother.” I think a mother is one who parents the child. I am not this kind of “mother” to her. Because she is 18 years old, I hope that she will understand and I will assume that she has been able to process the fact that I am not her “mothers”. Even though I dont believe that I am her “mother,” I accept the fact that I am someone who is genetically related to her and that because of me was able to have a “mother” who could do things that I wouldnt have at that time. I also hope that she is meeting me because she is interested in learning more about her “genetic” roots rather than to come and ask me to be her second mother or to be a part of her life.
Personally looking at her now I would not regret having to donate my eggs to her “mother,” but if I had more time to think about donating my eggs, Id say that I probably wouldnt have. The fact that I donated my eggs because of my circumstances as well as the fact that I wanted to be kept anonymous says that I didnt want this to become a “mother” to a child that I did not give birth to.
I think