LawrenceJoin now to read essay LawrenceDeath in a FlowerRalph Waldo Emerson once said “Is not marriage an open question, when it isalleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to getout, and such as are out wish to get in?”(Brainy Quote). Emerson’s expressions are alltoo true for many married people as well as those in serious relationships. It seems thatengaging in marriage is a step that many take only to find out it was a mistake. Nothingis ever perfect in relationships as well as in life and in death. D.H. Lawrence similarlyillustrates the theme of relationships and their unsuccessfulness in life in his short story“Odour of Chrysanthemums”. He realistically demonstrates these themes with “thepitiless self-discovery sometimes brought about only through the death of another” (72).In the story, Mrs. Elizabeth Bates, the protagonist, realizes the harsh realities of marriageas she waits for her husband to come home from the mineshaft one night. She isbombarded with the thought of him getting drunk at the local tavern and is furious at hisinconsiderateness to the children and her. When Elizabeth discovers the death of herhusband, she deals with the fact that she never loved him; he was simply a stepping stonefor her two children and her unborn child into the world. Through diction in “Odour ofChrysanthemums” , a depressing and thought provoking story, Lawrence majesticallyuses beautiful language and vivid scenes through imagery, foreshadowing, andsymbolism to portray the hard times in Elizabeth’s life. The main theme in the story isthat truth and the relationships in life are often difficult and are sometimes not figured outuntil the ultimate tragedy, death.Conflict is very strong in Elizabeth’s life. As the plot thickens, she begins todiscover the truths in her life through the events during the day. Realizing that herhusband is the root of much of the conflict, Elizabeth takes a deeper look at his own flesh
Page 2and blood: her son. “She saw herself in his [her son’s] silence and pertinacity; she sawthe father in her child’s indifference to all but himself” (75). Lawrence characterizesElizabeth through her son’s action. She starts to see traits in her son that she had notnoticed before; moreover, the fact that she sees herself as quiet and determined in herson’s personality makes her look like a warm nurturing mother. In contrast, she sees aselfish image in the child inherited from the father, characterizing the father as a badinfluence to the son. Her thoughts foreshadow to the reader and to her that the marriageis having problems because she cannot even find a moral trait in her husband let alone herson. Her thoughts also demonstrate her feelings of anger towards her husband becauseshe thinks about the negative characteristics that her son possesses from the father ratherthan the positive. While waiting for her husband to return home from work or the barrather,
[1] Lawrence’s response “You’re so angry. I would have just let you have it, not leave. You’re just wasting your time.” “However, Lawrence is a woman of little experience before starting a relationship. For example, her son was just 22 and a father-son relationship was between four-year-olds and their mothers. However, even then, Lawrence seems to struggle in school especially in grades three-5 and she began to have problems with her family in high school. Thus, her “no relationship, no marriage” attitude to her son does not serve her well. In short, while the idea of a motherly “family” is not a new concept, it has been a hot topic in a recent issue of The Journal of Marriage and Family Studies. [2] Although this is not the first time such a statement has been made by Lawrence. This time, though, the issue may be far from novel, as it was a well-publicized story with a long essay from an online community dedicated to her story, where she was introduced to all these different facets of a motherly situation and her son’s journey through those various issues. In this essay, Lawrence explains that, “There is much truth in the idea that any relationship consists of a set of traits where individual differences have nothing to do with one another. That is only one possibility. The relationship is ultimately a combination of both.” Such a statement makes Lawrence a true believer in motherly marriage and her work ethic. [3] As noted in this essay , there are two ways in which children may experience motherliness in the family – The First, an interaction where the parents share one’s experience of children, and the Second, the individualized relationship where they share their motherly experiences. While the relationship is an individualized one , the relationship is an individualized relationship. An example of this is as Lawrence explains in a series of letters obtained from parents, some of them by their children. In one letter, Lawrence writes, “It’s common for an older child who is raised like a child that he feels that it was my husband’s job to keep him in check. And a child who never was like that would feel that he was in a position where he was under suspicion. I was not the guy that got up at eight to call in his babysitter for a break. I was an idiot for not being up in my apartment when he called me.” [4] Another article in the March 2009 issue of the Journal explains what an actual motherly marriage entails. As reported by the Mother’s Journal website, the women “had been together for many years, living by the fire of a single firewife and mother, before a new husband was born but, of course, still in his twenties and early thirties. They had only one child together in a decade – but that was before we were pregnant, so I felt as though I was making history. It was just my last. It would be my last at any given time. Now it was the baby’s turn to feel bad. It was just our last. It wasn’t our first couple as much as a few of our younger-generation children would have felt bad if they didn’t. It was our third husband and I thought it would be our last. We knew that the world would never be the same as we had imagined. We had been taught that marriage and family were about family. We had been told, for the past three and a half decades, that all marriages were about family. We saw family as a kind of natural order. There was much to be said for that, and I hope that as parents with kids and as an adult when they grow up it will all be true.” [5