Life StoryJust over one year ago, I lived in a nation of vast turmoil. The streets ran wild with revolution and my family no longer felt safe. We supported the revolution, but our future was more uncertain than ever before, and I was preparing to begin my life as an independent man. My family made a choice which would change every aspect in my life. Though it is now entirely new, and not at all what I had expected, I feel fortunate that my family left Egypt and moved to the United States.
Perhaps the most apparent difference between Egypt and the United States was the language. In school in Egypt, I studied French, never anticipating that I would live in an English speaking nation. In an extremely short time, I was thrust into the English speaking world. My only previous exposures to English were through music, movies, and occasionally the internet, so I was by no measure fluent. Initially, learning was difficult, but as I started to understand conversation, I began to learn faster than ever before. As I began to really grasp the language, new friends flocked to return to me, and my new home started to truly feel like home.
It is difficult to be a new student at any time in one’s life, but it is particularly difficult to be a new student at the start of your junior year of high school. It is seemingly impossible if you come from an entirely different culture. When I left Egypt, I left more than my old home; I left much of my family, and all of my friends. This completely new beginning allowed me to learn one of the greatest things about American culture: the open-mindedness and open-heartedness within it. I was afraid I would be treated as an outcast, but instead I met new and wonderful friends who would help me acclimate to this new environment. Now I have several friends, all of whom just as eager to learn about Egypt as I was to learn about America.
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Many people in Alexandria felt intimidated. Although I was not an Indian, I had long admired Indian culture in the American West. My husband was also an Indian, and his family in the country was full of Indian immigrants from India. So I came to see that these people were as “in charge of their own destiny” as I was of them. I felt betrayed and ashamed, despite my considerable knowledge of American history and culture. But at the exact moment, in the middle of the summer in 1998, I had a meeting at a church here. I could see that the American people were as enthusiastic about being Indian as I was about going to college. Suddenly I had a new sense of purpose. There were many Indians who held American ideals in high regard, and I began to see in most people a certain kind of Indian nationalism. In other words, that this country is the United States, but that it is all about India, and that it is not only about you, but that its traditions and culture are somehow the most valued among them. The American Revolution was a very important and significant event that changed my attitude toward and concern for Indians. I felt that Indian culture should be celebrated and honored in our country, and I expected that many like me who went to college would agree. My wife, a native of India, agreed with us about one such thing. It was her idea that I would go to India for an Indian experience to take back for my students, but for me this was only one of many reasons why I wanted to stay in the city. I hoped that America would embrace this idea and would help me find a new opportunity to explore my own culture. I learned I had to go there. After two weeks the first black American who came to visit was on his way and a black friend from an Indian village came and offered to allow me to stay. I told her that we had to leave immediately, but he agreed. So the next day we began the last week of school in a new school in this tiny neighborhood, which was also completely built in the 1950s. This was a really important time for me. I knew that my parents would be very worried and that they would not have many children of their own to support; they were only worried of their own children. I knew they would think I was a terrible mess, and they would be so happy that I decided to go back to school for my last year of school. I don’t know how my first day at school was so different from the moment it happened, but at its most dramatic, it was so emotional. My parents had a lot of questions about how I had to learn the language of the native speaking people in America. After all, the next best thing to do in my life was visit New Delhi where, if I were to go abroad, I would need to pay
The Egyptian people are extremely proud of their long history, history of culture, as well as history of religions. That said, they are very, very proud of their role in making America the place you wanted to be if you lived there, and if you came from an American family who taught at the University of Texas at Austin, or if you came from a European family who taught at University of Virginia or Duke University. So I have to take these things into consideration when I think about where my new cultural heritage might stand. In my view, where I’d rather live is something of my own choice. While I have a long way to go before I may have an actual name or even be a name on my birth certificate, my parents always put a lot of time into it. This means I don’t have a lot of choices, other than to live in the “American” city where I would like in an American culture.
I“t want to build up and be a part of that culture, and in my opinion, it’s our patriotic duty to stand up for something that stands in a different way for all cultures and that my parents are proud of. That’s what we do, so I have to take into consideration, well, where my new cultural heritage might stand when I think about where my identity will stand.
A lot of our kids, at some point, have to find the language they need, and then find the culture to speak. They get so upset when they hear a lot of phrases like, “You are too white, you are so black, he ”c you’re too f–king white to go and learn,” or something like that. This makes it that much harder to find all of the answers for that question that they make about your origin, and it makes it seem like just a matter of where to go. For me, it is the cultural heritage I want to represent, that is, my background, my family history, and whether or not that’s true or not is something that comes up in a lot of conversation.
I can make a comment like that, but I don’t wanna be a part of some controversy around it. Not just because I’m like, “You don’t belong there, but I wouldn’t wish to see you die of asphyxia, not seeing you die in one year.” I understand that and still I want to have that conversation.
What are your feelings about being honored at the National Institutes of Health, the NIH? I mean, we have the same president, and he’s on the same team. But from what I’m seeing from the NIH, at the end of the day there is no way of saying there isn’t more. We need to take responsibility for our people, and we certainly need to be prepared to do that. We need to make sure that our students and our families have access to the benefits of NIH, which means that we will have students and families who can make them to know that they are treated like human beings, that they are treated like citizens of the United States, and that NIH can have an ongoing role to play in that.
Are you aware of any NIH scientists who are actually going to have to resign from the job? It seems like there are some those who have been put off by the fact that there were already a lot more NIH employees who were not invited.
If nothing else, how do you think you’re going to get more NIH and NIH scientists? We have a lot of NIH employees who are working the same jobs, but who we are not going to be able to join.
A few years ago, I was invited to a screening panel at the National Institutes of Health at the National Institute on Aging because I was working there and I had just talked to a young lady. She had been doing research for the NIH for 20 years.
Oh, so that was really kind of the highlight of that. Then this young lady, it’s sort of a reflection of how she felt about NIH over the past year. She went down into the screening hall and saw a bunch of NIH employees looking at me. She came in and said, “No. I don’t want any NIH
I want to make my voice heard, if I want to be seen by others, I want to stand up and win back the love of my nation. And I want to protect my country. If my future is threatened by this type of thing, then I can’t do that. I want my culture to stand for what it means—something like “equal rights for men, woman, and children.” These were my values. The country that helped me, and what they do to me has been worth more than so much that it’s worth saving.
AMY GOODMAN: I want to thank you, Dr. Laura Poitras, and the rest of the people who are with us. If you’re with us, we’ll be right next to you right here in the room, now. Stay with us.
The Egyptian people are extremely proud of their long history, history of culture, as well as history of religions. That said, they are very, very proud of their role in making America the place you wanted to be if you lived there, and if you came from an American family who taught at the University of Texas at Austin, or if you came from a European family who taught at University of Virginia or Duke University. So I have to take these things into consideration when I think about where my new cultural heritage might stand. In my view, where I’d rather live is something of my own choice. While I have a long way to go before I may have an actual name or even be a name on my birth certificate, my parents always put a lot of time into it. This means I don’t have a lot of choices, other than to live in the “American” city where I would like in an American culture.
I“t want to build up and be a part of that culture, and in my opinion, it’s our patriotic duty to stand up for something that stands in a different way for all cultures and that my parents are proud of. That’s what we do, so I have to take into consideration, well, where my new cultural heritage might stand when I think about where my identity will stand.
A lot of our kids, at some point, have to find the language they need, and then find the culture to speak. They get so upset when they hear a lot of phrases like, “You are too white, you are so black, he ”c you’re too f–king white to go and learn,” or something like that. This makes it that much harder to find all of the answers for that question that they make about your origin, and it makes it seem like just a matter of where to go. For me, it is the cultural heritage I want to represent, that is, my background, my family history, and whether or not that’s true or not is something that comes up in a lot of conversation.
I can make a comment like that, but I don’t wanna be a part of some controversy around it. Not just because I’m like, “You don’t belong there, but I wouldn’t wish to see you die of asphyxia, not seeing you die in one year.” I understand that and still I want to have that conversation.
What are your feelings about being honored at the National Institutes of Health, the NIH? I mean, we have the same president, and he’s on the same team. But from what I’m seeing from the NIH, at the end of the day there is no way of saying there isn’t more. We need to take responsibility for our people, and we certainly need to be prepared to do that. We need to make sure that our students and our families have access to the benefits of NIH, which means that we will have students and families who can make them to know that they are treated like human beings, that they are treated like citizens of the United States, and that NIH can have an ongoing role to play in that.
Are you aware of any NIH scientists who are actually going to have to resign from the job? It seems like there are some those who have been put off by the fact that there were already a lot more NIH employees who were not invited.
If nothing else, how do you think you’re going to get more NIH and NIH scientists? We have a lot of NIH employees who are working the same jobs, but who we are not going to be able to join.
A few years ago, I was invited to a screening panel at the National Institutes of Health at the National Institute on Aging because I was working there and I had just talked to a young lady. She had been doing research for the NIH for 20 years.
Oh, so that was really kind of the highlight of that. Then this young lady, it’s sort of a reflection of how she felt about NIH over the past year. She went down into the screening hall and saw a bunch of NIH employees looking at me. She came in and said, “No. I don’t want any NIH
I want to make my voice heard, if I want to be seen by others, I want to stand up and win back the love of my nation. And I want to protect my country. If my future is threatened by this type of thing, then I can’t do that. I want my culture to stand for what it means—something like “equal rights for men, woman, and children.” These were my values. The country that helped me, and what they do to me has been worth more than so much that it’s worth saving.
AMY GOODMAN: I want to thank you, Dr. Laura Poitras, and the rest of the people who are with us. If you’re with us, we’ll be right next to you right here in the room, now. Stay with us.