Personal Essay
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The virtue most important for obtaining a long term relationship is trust. One of my now ex-boyfriends, Rob, had a lot of friends that were girls. At first this made me very uncomfortable. What made it even worse was that they also were considerably attractive. One of his best friends was a female.
One particular boring evening, I called my boyfriend after work to see what his plans were for the night. He had plans with his girl friend, Lauren, to go see the movie “Dodgeball”. I was hurt. Wasnt this my boyfriend? My gut feeling told me everything was going to be okay. After all, he was being completely honest about where he was going and who he would be with. But my head was telling me that I should have been the one with plans with Rob. It was killing me to sit and ponder on wether or not I should trust him alone with Lauren.
I immediately
started to call my friends for advice. What would they do in my situation? They sided with me. They told me that I should keep an eye out for her, and that I should keep him away from Lauren as much as possible. I should show her who is boss. I listened to my friends and my uncertainty slowly built into anger and jealousy. Who does this girl think she is trying to steal my boyfriend?
When my boyfriend called later that night to tell me about the movie, I pretty much gave him the silent treatment, making it known that I was unhappy. He sensed this and told me I had nothing to worry about. I asked him why he needed her when he had me. He said that she always gave him the best advice on relationships because shes a woman. And he could do the same for her. The one thing that he also did, out of respect for me, was make plans to introduce me to her and include me in being around the two of them so that I could see that there was nothing to worry about and I could trust him. I felt so relieved after hearing this, and feeling secure in our relaionship was all I needed. I knew then I could really trust him. After all, its not like they went to see a romance movie.
Rob and Is relationship lasted almost 2 years. He was one of my best friends as well. Lauren and I ended up getting along fabulously, and I learned a lesson in trust. Once I saw how it was truly a friendship, that can never be anything greater, I relaxed and actually found myself hanging out with