Essay About Radio Commercials And Total Body Fat

Christmas
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Harleys view of Christmas (Not for the festive at heart)
Now I am not going to say I hate EVERYTHING about Christmas, I dont mind the whole family thing and cranberries and stuffing are two great things, but thats where my enjoyment ends. It starts in November, as soon as Halloween ends the collective low attention span of people turns its head towards Christmas. First its those annoying ads selling crap that was cheaper in August, had its priced raised in October and is now “on sale” at prices just slightly above what they were two months before ( On a side note why do all radio commercials have to have a crummy jingle with them? I mean you listen to three or four great songs and then youre brought down with something like 123 its okay, call 416-Chevrolet. Anyways). Then you get those stupid people who put out their Christmas lights a full two months before the holidays and run them all night, and we wonder about ways to conserve energy, these are also the same people who spray their lawns with pesticides and spend hours toiling away with hedge clippers and fertilizer because after all, we REALLY do care about youre lawn. Then it comes, the dreaded first old navy commercial, filled with fake snow, bad music and a bunch of kids with less total body fat then I got in my right arm, and of course sprinkle a few minorities in, but never in the front of the camera only off to the side, you might upset old navies old customers. Then you have parades, three hours of thousands of kids asking their parent, wheres santa? Wheres Santa? WHERES SANTA? Only to see a middle age fat man (who probably doubles as the local drunk, ya know the big red nose and the beer belly) surrounded by fake reindeer, trying not to succumb to hypothermia. And thats just November! Now it moves into phase two, movies and music. Suddenly every radio station feels the need to play every hacky cover song of the same basic 20 or 30 Christmas melodies. Only now will you here Madonna singing winter wonder land or Jay-Z busting out silent night the REMIX (silence interspersed with gunfire). The only real purpose of Christmas music is to make regular people hum and lonely people drink. Also for some reason every major network seems compelled to show either Charlie Browns Christmas or the Grinch, because you know its not as if weve ever seen either one of them. And great news! Its that magical time of year in which Hollywood is always good for a couple of crappy chick flick/ Romantic “comedy” where a girl finds love in an unexpected place (Somebody call Jude Law), this year we have The Holiday, the movie that killed any respect I had for Jack Black. ( It was on the ropes after King Kong). Now that all the prelim is over, its time for the relatives, thats