Tears on a Keyboard – a Ghb Addiction – Beaten
Essay Preview: Tears on a Keyboard – a Ghb Addiction – Beaten
Report this essay
TEARS ON A KEYBOARD – A GHB ADDICTION – BEATEN
Intro…..
As a writer, I find it quite easy to put things down on paper as you can imagine. In this case, it was the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. As you read it, please take it all in, it could save your life. I nearly lost mine and I am supposed to be an expert!
I have written two best sellers on the subject of steroids and publish a monthly magazine, the NO BULL COLLECTION that has become cult reading throughout the world. I am a fully qualified Olympic grade A Coaching Instructor and have been in bodybuilding now for about 25 years. In that time I have been in many competitions, tried just about every steroid that is and was available, all in perfect safety I might add. I always thought that my sense of safety would always pull me through; it had gotten me through all the years so far. Because I advise so much on the subject, and have written two best sellers on steroids, I always felt that I had a good sense of what can happen – how wrong can someone be. Understand the feelings that were felt, the pain that was created and the losses that could have been far worse than they were. Just think – please!
For the benefit of the reader, my addiction started around 1996 through to 1998. Since that time I have not touched any GHB or the like and never intend to again. However, and I can say this with great honesty, if I had any near me now, even though I know what it can do – I WOULD take it! That is why none shall be in front of me again. That is, I suppose, the ghost that cannot be laid to rest.
I now live alone with my young son Thomas in the home that I built for his mother Kim and I. Even though I am still married to Angela, I choose to live alone. We are both happy with that. Thomas looks on Angie as his real mother and has done since the about three months old, he wont have it any other way. That part is really a long story. His love for her is unequalled – I like that. During this traumatic time, I have to say that Thomas stayed with Angie quite a lot of the time. It was easier for him as he went to school nearby her house.
Please note however, that there were many people involved in this traumatic experience, and as the story progresses all will be revealed. But it has to be told in the way it has been and so shall be. Should any of my family be reading this, please read on, as all will be told. I have not forgotten your love and help – I never shall.
GHB Who would have thought it eh? A product that came onto the bodybuilding world with its wondrous muscle building, fat burning properties, increased natural growth hormone release – wow, it could change the way a man could look AND feel – and that is an understatement to say the very least. This article has been a long time in coming but the reasons for its delay were simple – a situation that can change and did change ones life so much and yet bring home so much hurt can be a difficult thing to bring back into your life, even if it is only memories. I jest not, this article has been so very hard to write after all that has happened. Will there be a happy ending? Well you will have to read on and see. But, I might add, how we perceive a happy ending is really up to the reader.
First of all let me explain about GHB and what it does. It is used for pre-surgery preparation, it relaxes the mind and puts it into a deep state of sleep. Previous to this sleep you get one hell of a buzz; a feeling of well being, comfort, confidence, happiness and all that jazz. It makes one feel really relaxed and if used for what it was supposed to be used for, it worked well.
The dosage, as advised, was originally about half a teaspoon, approximately, and if taken about half an hour to an hour before bed, it would start to slow down the body, if you like, preparing it for a deeper sleep than normal. No messing about, you WOULD go to sleep. Its main aim in bodybuilding was to increase the amount of natural growth hormone in the body; it would assist you in releasing more cheap, natural growth. If used PROPERLY it certainly did the trick and most definitely put the body into a restful state that could not be matched. I had not known anything like it – ever. I must say at this stage that I had never taken any other drug before, except for steroids and was amazed at the way it relaxed me after a hard days work. I could not believe how much this thing relaxed me. In fact, I got to the stage where I was really looking forward to taking it when I got home. This was to turn out to be my undoing – in fact it was nearly the beginning of the end.
In all honesty I really cannot remember the date of when the GHB thing started, or rather the time when it was first introduced to me. I know that it was circa 1994 or thereabouts. It was actually on general sale on the bodybuilding circuit and I had heard of its wondrous properties and especially the great feeling of euphoria, the chilled, laid back, well-being feeling that one felt about 20 minutes after taking the stuff. It was quite dramatic. I sincerely loved it 100% without a doubt!
I was quite simple to take, mixed with water, tasted like shit but it was that easy. It usually came in a 100g tubs and as I have said, was on sale from most of the bodybuilding supply shops and companies. You see, no one really new what , if any, problems could occur until very much into the course of it. About half a teaspoon was the recommended dosage, taken about an half to one hour before bed, mixed in a little fruit juice as the taste was quite repulsive on its own. I actually used to just have a little in water at first as I didnt mind the taste too much. Mind you, I can chew aspirin or paracetamols with no problem so GHB was to be no big deal.
SEX DRIVE I was told that it actually enhanced your sex drive and of course, being a typical man, my ears pricked up immediately when I heard this. Shit, I can get a horn watching Wilma Flintstone for Gods sake but I must admit that I have cancelled my subscription to Cartoon Network – I could not handle it! Although I have used steroids in most of my bodybuilding career and was used to trying different types in cycles etc, I was a little reluctant to try anything that made one a little high. Again, I was told this but not about the extent that it could get to as I would learn later.
Anyhow, the first day it arrived at my office in its plain but simply labeled tub, I thought that I would try just a tiny bit on the edge of a spoon to see if it DID give me a buzz. I was curious, as after everything that I have heard, I really thought that it was all blown out of proportion.