Hell2u
Essay Preview: Hell2u
Report this essay
Discipline
September 27, 2006 @ 8:09 pm * Read more jokes on College humor
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times.
When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised its level of unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.
Archive for Men-women humor
Secret
October 6, 2006 @ 8:43 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
Secretly, he said
“I have to tell the truth,” a young man said to his new girlfriend.
“While weve been dating, Ive been secretly seeing a psychiatrist.”
“Dont worry about it,” the girl told her boyfriend. “Ive been secretly seeing a car salesman, an accountant, a College student, a Post Office worker, another guy that I dont really know what he does but is really cute”
Permalink Comments
50th Wedding Anniversary
October 6, 2006 @ 8:41 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
A couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
The man looks at his wife as asks “what would you like to do for our anniversary?”
She then replies “we could run upstairs and make love.”
He replies, “Make up your mind, we cant do both.
Permalink Comments
Three
October 6, 2006 @ 7:37 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, were going to be three in this house instead of two.”
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “Im glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
Permalink Comments
The Groom
October 6, 2006 @ 7:35 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain”
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “Im going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But, officer, I just wanted to say”
“And I said to keep quiet! Youre going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chiefs at his daughters wedding. Hell be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Dont count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “Im the groom.”
Permalink Comments
Unfaithful
October 6, 2006 @ 7:35 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
A man wanted to determine if both his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the others behavior. When his wife returned, he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behavior of the passenger he knew to be his mistress. “She slept with nearly every man on the ship,” his wife reported. The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same questions about his wife.
“She was a real lady,” his mistress said.
“How so?” the encouraged man asked.
“She came on board with her husband and never left his side.”
Permalink Comments
Mens Advice to Women
October 6, 2006 @ 7:21 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
Never buy a new brand of beer because it was on sale.
If were in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesnt mean were not watching it.
Dont tell anyone we cant afford a new car. Tell them we dont want one.
Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Please dont drive when youre not driving.
Dont feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: Were just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
The quarterback who just got pummeled isnt trying to be brave. Hes just not crying. Big difference!
When the waiter asks if everythings okay, a simple Yes is fine.
Permalink Comments
No Chance
October 6, 2006 @ 7:20 pm * Filed under Men-women humor
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you dont work enough, youre a good-for-nothing