Bullies
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Bullies
Ones child always enjoyed learning, but lately seems eager to avoid school. Stomachaches and mysterious illnesses pop up in the evening and seem to get worse as the school bus creeps closer to your street the next morning. It is possible the problem has nothing to do with how last nights dinner was digested. Your child could be worried sick over schoolyard bullies. In the United States, bullying among children and teenagers has often been dismissed as a normal part of growing up. Little attention has been given to the devastating effects of bullying or to the connection between bullying and other forms of violence. In recent years students and adults around the country have begun to make a commitment to put a stop to bullying in their schools and communities Sadly, bullying is widespread. 86% of more than 1,200, 9 out of10, 13-year-old boys and girls polled said theyve seen someone else being bullied, 48% said theyve been bullied and 42% admitted to bullying other kids at least once in a while (readersdigest.com). Bullies can take the fun out of school the place where bullying most happens and it can turn something simple like a bus ride to school, a stop at a locker, or a walk to the restroom into a terrifying event that is anticipated with worry. Although there are many other important tribulations this country faces everyday, one must examine the small, seemingly insignificant things, take care of the situation and then move on to larger more challenging problems. If one shows consideration to the insignificant problems, situations such as bullying then later on one will know how to handle the more demanding problems.
Children who are bullied often experience low-self esteem and depression, whereas those doing the bullying may go on to be more destructive and have antisocial behavior as teens and adults. Bullies, who often have been bullied themselves, may pick on others to feel powerful, popular, important, or in control. Often they antagonize the same children repeatedly. Bullying behavior isnt always easy to define. Where do you draw the line between good-natured ribbing and bullying? Although teasing resembles bullying because it can prompt feelings of anger or embarrassment, teasing can be less hostile and done with humor, rather than harm. Teasing often promotes an exchange between two people rather that a one-sided dose of intimidation (parentingbookmark.com).
Although the black eye is a concrete sign that ones child may be a victim of bullying, there are many different ways kids bully that are not always that easy to spot. Cyber bullying is a relatively new trend that began to take surface as modern communication technologies advanced. Through email, instant messaging, Internet chat rooms and electronic gadgets like camera cell phones. Cyber bullies forward and spread hurtful images and or messages. Bullies use technology to harass victims at all hours, in wide circles and at a fast paced speed. Emotional bullying can be subtler and can involve isolating or excluding a child from activities or spreading rumors. This kind of bullying is especially common among girls. Physical bullying can accompany verbal bullying and involves things like kicking, biting, pinching, hair pulling or threats of physical harm. Racist bullying preys on children through racial slurs, offensive gestures, or making jokes about a childs cultural traditions or background. Sexual bullying involves unwanted physical contact or sexually abusive or inappropriate comments. Verbal bullying usually involves name calling, persistent mocking and laughing at a childs outlay. Despite the common notion that bullying is a problem mostly among boys, both boys and girls bully. But boys and girls can vary in the ways that they bully. Girls tend to inflict pain on a psychological level, they might exclude victims by shunning the m out of the lunchroom seating arrangements, ignoring them on the playground, or shunning them when slumber party invitations are handed out. Boys arent as subtle and they tend to get physical. Boy bullies are more apt to insult their victims on the playground than ignore them. Instead of isolating a nonathletic victim during a gym class they might take relentless aim and target the child throw after throw (kidshealth.org/behavior).
Of course bumps and bruises are revealing signs that ones child has been physically bullied, but one can watch for other less obvious signs as well, If ones child is inventing mysterious illnesses to avoid school, if ones child is missing money or personal belongings, if ones child begins having sleeping problems, if ones child begins getting irritable quickly, if ones child has poor concentration and has problems focusing on schoolwork or if ones child has unexpected changes in their routine in everyday life. These are some of the less apparent signs that ones child has been bullied in any form. Being bullied can also have long-term consequences. Such as serious problems with substance abuse, anxiety or depression (kidshealth.org).
There are many reasons why kids may become bullies. Bullies normally target people who are different. They seek to exploit those differences. They choose victims who they think are unlikely to retaliate. This means that children who wear glasses or have obvious physical differences like big ears or severe acne are common subjects for ridicule and in most cases it is not always just these children who are ridiculed it is also the children who learn at a slower pace or children who are insecure and anxious who can also be targets for bullies as well. Bullies may also turn to abusive behavior as a way of dealing with a difficult situation at home, such as a divorce. Bullies might not realize how hurtful their actions can be, but some know the pain firsthand because they have been bullied. They have often been subjected to abusive situations at home. Some bullies think that their behavior is normal because they come from families in which everyone regularly gets angry, shouts or calls names, they are merely copying what they observe coming from those that are the biggest influences in their lives. Whatever the cause, bullies usually pick on others as a way to deal with their own problems. Sometimes, they pick on kids because they need a victim – someone who seems emotionally or physically inferior- to try to gain acceptance and feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, bullies can come in all shapes and sizes (isafe.com).
If one should find out that ones child is being bullied do not add to the burden by becoming angry. Although it is understandable to be upset, one should be careful not to let the child see that. Ones sadness can be misinterpreted as disappointment. Be sure