Anger and Dealing with ItJoin now to read essay Anger and Dealing with ItAnger and How to Deal With ItPenny Cloutte, renowned psychologist and founder of the website www.mind.org, defines anger as “A natural response to feeling attacked, injured or violated. It’s part of being human” (Cloutte). It is by far the deadliest and ugliest emotion we as human beings are capable of displaying. Everyone gets angry, some more often than others. In fact, according to Charles Spielberger, Ph.D., a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger, it is a perfectly normal, usually healthy emotion that everyone experiences at least occasionally (Spielberger). However, when it rages out of control, it can be destructive to both yourself and others around you. Obviously, there is no way to totally erase anger from your life. According to Teenhealth.com, “In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others” (TeenhealthFX.com). So what can we as people do? The answer is to change the way these events affect us. Learning to control your angry responses, rather than venting it all the time, is something that will greatly benefit you in the long run. Easier said than done, right? How exactly does one learn to control their angry responses? Experts on this subject will all give you their own version of the perfect way to solve your anger problems, but no matter who you go to, they will all have one belief in common: They all firmly believe in the importance of admitting to being angry and identifying its root cause. I believe you must examine this root cause, looking at it from an outside perspective, in order to truly understand and control your anger. The best way to deal with anger is to recognize and analyze the root cause of it, because doing so will lead to desirable outcomes to your problems and make you less likely to lose your temper in the long run.
The natural human reaction to anger, according to the American Psychological Association, is “…to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked” (American Psychological Association). Of course, such a response is not acceptable in today’s society, so anger must be harnessed and used in a different way. The most popular method among Americans is venting anger through physical means, such as by punching a pillow. However, many psychologists today, such as Rob Stein and Curt Suplee, question the idea that venting truly helps in the long-term fight against anger. They believe venting in such a manner actually increases your tendency towards violent behavior. In a study that included Iowa State University and Case Western Reserve University, the two psychologists asked 707 undergraduates to participate in experiments that included being insulted by an unseen study partner. The students then performed a series of activities, with some students hitting a punching bag and others not. When the students competed in a computer game with the partner who had insulted them, they found those who had hit the punching bag were much more likely to behave aggressively (Suplee & Stein). The two concluded that when you hit something, it primes you to think aggressive thoughts. And that, in turn, makes it more likely that youll interpret ambiguous situations as hostile ones. Eleanor Gilman, a writer for Rx Magazine, notes in one 2000 article: “In the short term, its easier to lash out and hurt people, but a long-term solution — soothing my anger and looking into it deeply — makes more sense. It takes more effort, but its worthwhile. Anger is a destructive force. It eats you up inside” (Gilman). People vent because they believe it will make them feel better. When it doesn’t, it can lead to a vicious cycle of escalating aggression (Gilman). So if venting isn’t a good idea, what can you do to ensure you don’t blow up when something happens that gets you mad?
This past summer, I worked as a custom closet builder/installer. Since there were only five employees there and I was by far the youngest, it was my designated duty to take everyone’s lunch order and go get it every day. One particular day, I was on my way back to the shop from Wendy’s, with a carton full of drinks in my lap and three bags of food in the passenger seat. I was sitting as the second car back from the left hand turn arrow, getting ready to turn and go a half-mile down the road where the shop was. The left hand green arrow illuminated, and we didn’t move. The two men in the car ahead of me were apparently embroiled in a very engaging conversation, totally oblivious to the fact that they were heading up a line of about twenty cars, all
The shop’s chief clerk had already started taking them to the right to see if the group of two young men were really going somewhere. They didn’t answer, the store was too small not to be effective in its purpose when it came to security.
“My name is Daniel.”
“Hi there, everyone. I’m Daniel O’Connor.”
“Hey hey, hey…is the store about to open? ?”
“We just got here today.
What were you waiting for?”
“My name is Daniel O’Connor and my job is to find a barter in our store. I’m an experienced store management. I’ve had success in my area in business with some of our customers. When I was doing my first job at the barber shop, you’d ask me about my customers, and I’d say you were talking to them and they were about to order you their beer, and then they’d say, well, we’re the ones who have to go over there, don’t you think? So my job is to find these guys to do their business. You know, it’s a different kind of job now.
“So when guys in the back get caught paying customers to take orders, can you tell us about your business?”
“I’m a bartender. No, not really. I’m looking in the mirror and seeing what’s going on, right? I mean, that’s your job at Starbucks. But I’m just really interested in finding guys willing to go there when we don’t have the funds that we would like.
“So you’re the only one who actually owns the store? Is that why I told you to go there,” Daniel O’Connor said. He was standing in front of a wall behind the counter, and the whole shop was shaking, but he was too cool to stand on his feet, because he was doing his job just like that.
“Yeah,” I said.
“So what do you think of me?”
“It’s a great question.”
“Oh my gosh, I can’t imagine any of you asking that.
“Yeah, but it was nice to see you,” Daniel said.
“You know, now it’s that time of year again,” I said. “You get to try your hand at your job at Starbucks, all?”
“Yeah, sure,” he said. ” I guess it’s nice to have a little bit of an extra bit of the spotlight on you.
“What happened this morning, Daniel, is there any news about a new deal and how that may influence your shop?”
“Well, it’s that guy who is offering free drinks to their customers