Essay About T Drink And Alcoholic Families

S.F. has been on the receiving end of alcoholic abuse and drug use while in school.S.J. says:During early to mid-school years, it took me almost three years to learn to talk my way out of an old fight I had with some friends, but I feel no animosity, and I feel confident around myself. It turned out that I could talk that much with those people.It is easy to forget, but there have been many ways my life has ended with alcoholism and drug use in the past. It turned out that my family were bad influences in my life. At 12 I felt nothing more negative than I did once in high school, just like I felt right now. The first time in my life is when I was 6 or 7 years old. For all my life I was living the life of a drug addicted person. I was going through drug use and I had no power to stop it. I was an alcoholic kid and used to feel so much better. In high school I spent a lot of time at work and sometimes at work with my alcoholic friends or roommates. But I decided to become friends with them more. And so I had people who never had to deal with a problem with alcohol (in any other way) or alcoholism in the past.

My mother used to tell my friends that it was ok to become a drug addict. But her opinions were so different from mine that she began to question some of my personal beliefs about alcohol. I don’t believe she was wrong…but I think she was scared.

S.G.- A 14 year old at the time of her first incident with alcohol, told her friend that her best friend was addicted to prescription painkillers, and she was afraid that the other person who helped her would suffer with addiction.[*] “What do you want to talk about, Mommy?” The friend wanted to know something, but I simply told her I would tell another person. This friend asked me to tell my friend about my family and everything that has gone wrong

Some of these apprehensions have real reasons, other don’t. Against some opinion children from pathological families don’t have to be bad students (often times they are the best), they don’t have to succeed less than their friends from “normal” families, they don’t have to be wobbly (many of them are active and pugnacious, and also resourceful and responsible).

However, in this theory, there are theories and truths really important that we shouldn’t ignore, but we should get to know them and think of them. Children from alcoholic families experience everything more than their friends. They suffer more tense, anxiety, confusion and loneliness. These feelings favor the creation of defensive attitude.

Alcoholism is more than just drinking alcohol. It is a long-drawn illness, caused by immoderate drinking, thinking about alcohol and losing control of consuming it. Even though many experts think that we can’t fight against alcoholism, we can limit it and get to abstinence. In some ways it is similar to a diabetic person. He can’t really win with the illness, but he can cooperate with his organism and avoid eating food that contains sugar. Similarly, an alcoholic person can’t realistically change the reaction of alcohol on his organism, but he can “meet” his illness by putting away the alcohol. But it’s always easier to say than to do. An alcoholic person pretends that everything is fine, for example he says: “I’m not that bad”, “I drink because of my family”, “Who would not drink if he had such a boss at work?” His arguments are strong so his family can’t really face the truth. Then, the children think: “Daddy should rest in the evening”, “Daddy has to drink, because he will have to listen mummy’s grumbling”. They will never tell the family’s secret that father is an alcoholic. The reality is that the atmosphere at home is permeable with lies and secrets.

All children, also these from pathologic families, are born with different characters: hardness, activeness, strength of reactions, and many others. Living with parents gives them less or more support. It also depends on the family members and their potentiality. Therefore, it is also important to remember that if we talk about children from alcoholic families we can talk only about some trends and tendencies, and that the situation is or isn’t in favor of something. Depending on elements the effects of influence of alcohol are different. When we talk about children from families with alcoholic problems, we can talk about different kinds of shock and trauma.

Often times children from these families have trauma, which in this case is anxiety, chaos and no support. Every person, especially a child, needs a map that will help him find himself in the whole situation. A map that will tell where is cold and where is warm, that if he will do something well he will be rewarded. That if parents will promise something, they will do it. That if parents will say “no” then the child can’t do something etc. of course, it is true that many children muddle trough these problems and leave home. However, they enter adulthood with wounds that are maybe invisible, but they still exist somewhere inside.

The experience of a child from an alcoholic family is an experience of lost and chaos. They never know what will happen because everything depends on mood. When something hurts they might get a kiss, if something is bad they will get yelled at. No one really wants to listen to problems because they think they will know better what the child should do. Some promises are, of course, fulfilled, but never know which, when, and why. Adults once love each other, other times hate each other. Parents are lost and don’t know what they really want. Actually there is one known thing: that after summer there will be fall, after fall there will be winter, spring, and then again summer.

This kind of chaos makes a child separating and running away from reality. Then the reality becomes unexpected: it scares and pushes away. The child runs away into books, music, dreams or fantasy. Besides, it still has to remember of keeping the family secret, because it is not proper to talk about this kind of problem. In this kind of family, members talk only about bad feeling or bad condition. The lack of conversation with others means shutter of topics connected to family. Everyone knows that children are quiet and keep the “secret” and incidents related to it. They do it because of shame, fear and hope that tomorrow will be better and it is not as bad as it seems to be. All taboo paralyzes the battle field and convicts people to loneliness. Outside everything might be fine, but inside the feelings are fighting. Children from pathological families try to impersonate in some roles that are uncomfortable, but help to avoid contact with brutal reality.

For children whose parents are alcoholic, the battle field is their own home, where the targets are he basic needs. Some children are sexually abused, others are being mishandled, and others don’t get even a little bit of any positive feelings, but they really need care, attention, and assurance of love. Many of the time at alcoholic’s homes they