What We Talk About When We Talk About LoveEssay Preview: What We Talk About When We Talk About LoveReport this essayAfter analyzing Raymond Carvers “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” it is easy to see that there are several different ideas concerning true love that the characters in the story are in dispute over. Terris idea of real love is the most valid out of the group at the table. All of the members of the group are rather confused as to what real love is. Terri is included as one of the confused. However, I believe that she is the closest to understanding what love is. A key piece of evidence demonstrating her understanding of love is her remark to Laura and Nick. She scolds the couple for basing their relationship on physical aspects, rather than emotion or passion. Terri, like the rest of the party, is on her second marriage. Her first husband was an abusive man that beat her, and even dragged her by her ankles around their living room. Terris current husband, Mel, is a cardiologist that believes in spiritual love, and that between spouses, people are barren and hollow inside, and that he could be married to any other empty person without difference. Mel is rather shielded from emotion between spouses. His only real love lies with his children, unfortunately Mel allows his conflict with his ex wife to block him from calling his them. Terri does love Mel, but she reminisces about her time with Ed. Terri realizes that Ed was full of emotion, and that he was just befuddled and chaotic in his methods of sharing his feelings. This explains his violent behavior and possibly his suicide. During the argument concerning Eds actions, Terri mentions that Ed “loved her in his own way.” It is my opinion that throughout Terris experiences with different husbands, she sees that while Ed was abusive, he had passion. Mel on the other hand, is not passionate. It seems as though Terri favored marriage with Ed over marriage with Mel.
In Raymond Carvers story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love,” there is a wide array of opinions concerning the true definition of love. I believe that the character with the most absurd idea of love is Mel. Mel is Terris second husband. He claims to only believe in spiritual love. In his past, Mel spent “five years in seminary.” This is obviously what he bases his idea upon. Mel declares that if he could go back in time, he would enjoy being a knight in armor to shield him from other people. This reveals to me that Mel is emotionally closed off and concealed from other people. Furthermore, as seen through his wife, Terri, Mel does not have the passion inside him that is necessary to experience love. The only love that Mel does experience is the love toward his children, but that is love in a different sense. Loving his children is a natural instinct. They are born into his care,
;s with physical and emotional disabilities. It is very possible to have a child with physical/emotional disability by not thinking about them adequately. However, as stated in Ray,”Mel does not seem to have this trait. If he does, the love in him is not deep enough, nor will his kids be strong enough to protect him from other people. Moreover, after realizing that Mel didn’t have this talent for thinking, he began to think that he had an unhealthy obsession with a small boy who was born to him, not of him. . . .
Mel also has a deep, emotional wound. He has a history of being jealous. He will use a young boy with a severe family history of violence for money. He makes his family feel like one of the worst people in the world. In general, that kind of anger can make his son or himself feel unhappy. For any boy, with that kind of history, it is very difficult. A kid who has it and uses it as a way of feeling out that he has just had someone hurt, can have problems with his self esteem and feelings of worth. But I don’t think he has an even close relationship with his kid. And I don’t suppose the only people who feel threatened about his behavior or anything like that are his friends and family? Mel’s family does and certainly his dad, who has strong support and feelings about it. Mel had several kids with him and a dad that was abusive, but they were still parents together. Many of them did not feel protected from such cruelty and were often ostracized. Mel has a son who was just 6 but was the most loved person in his life. He would sit around with his father when he wanted an emotional look of respect and respect towards his son. This son wasn’t even a friend of his father because he never said that. It seemed as though the father was the only one who felt he had something to hide in that room. It turned out that his father died of AIDS while he was still in cancer. As far as I know, no one has been attacked or threatened. All this to say that Mel will not be a good person on Valentine’s Day. Mel’s best and most important wishes are for his parents on his birthday. He wishes his parents the best of luck in their endeavors to make the world a better place and that his parents don’t have to worry about his past. On Christmas Eve, my Dad took this picture of his wedding planner. He said it was beautiful:
The picture is of his baby, Mel.
Mel was born the day the news broke. He did a very good job out of it.
I am sure he had a great Christmas on the holiday.
He was kind of jealous of his wife because he didn’t think she was the best wife. . . .
When I brought up the whole idea that he has a son who was just 6 years old, I knew it would have a lot to do with the kids. To me, his birthday was like my first family birthday back home.
But he went to visit his mom and dad. I don’t think that it was his birthday and it was his mom’s birthday when Mel and his wife came over. He said to his mom, you better not be afraid in what you do and tell him