Masking Poor Communication
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After reading the article, I would have to say I agree that we often feel that if we are close to someone they understand us better. While this may be true on an emotional level it is not always true with communications. Someone can know what you are feeling by the emotions that you display or what you will do next because you are predictable but they cannot read your mind. Bill Cosby said “Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.” This is very true as I often find that communicating with women is much harder than with men.
Men seem to be able to just look at each other, point and grunt and we understand, but when talking to women we need to be clear and most of listen. People need to talk to each other and listen to what the other one is saying in order for communication to work. Many people often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and do not communicate their thoughts and wants to them.
I have friends who spend more time sending text message to their spouse than they do talking. I feel that we lose the true meaning of things with just using simple words in text messages and it leads to misunderstandings. I would say to them do you think they understand what you ware saying because I didnt and I am standing here next to you. There have seen major arguments in their houses because they sent a text to tell their spouse something and the spouse took the message another way.
So I have set here trying to think of a time when I was talking or explaining something to someone close and I cannot think of anything major that has happened. I have been married for twenty five year so we communicate pretty well. Of course like any couple we do have little things that happen. I work a 9/80 work week so I get every other Friday off, when we are not busy working proposals.
I would be setting at the table drinking coffee in the morning with my wife before she would go to work. As she was leaving, she would turn to me and say “If you have time today could you vacuum the floor” and I would of course say sure why not. I would go about my day relaxing and catching up on some movies or playing my Xbox 360, before I knew it was time for the wife to come home.
Well needless to say I hadnt vacuumed the floor and she would say” I thought I asked you to vacuum the floor?” I would then say you said if I had time and I did not have the time. So I would say that this is an instance where we have poor communications being masked by being to close. The way we fixed this little error was to make sure that we try to say exactly what we mean.
Now when she leaves she says” Make sure you vacuum the floors or please do the laundry while you are off work today. Now I understand when she leaves in the morning that it was not a suggestion but a request or command. I have also learned to listen