Essay Preview: Love
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Love
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, as an attraction based on sexual desires: affection and tenderness felt by lovers and as an affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interest. Do you know what word this is the definition for? Love. Love has several different meanings in the English language, from something that gives little pleasure to something that one would die for. It can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion, or an emotional state. Just as there are many types of lovers, there are many types of love. Love is inherent in all human cultures. It is precisely these cultural differences that make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, love of laws, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power and fame, love for respect, and many more. Different cultures and people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. In this paper I will talk about the many different forms and beliefs of love through different scientific, cultural, and religious beliefs.
There have been many different scientific views taken up for love. Each views represents solid aspects of love and none can be written off. All biological models of love seem to see love as an animal drive, just like hunger and thirst. Psychology sees love as more of social and cultural creation. There are elements of truth in each view, as love is certainly influenced by hormones, pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by the conceptions of love. The conventional view of biology, attraction and attachment, says that there are two major drives in love, sexual attraction and attachment. The traditional view of psychology see love as being a combination of compassionate love and passionate love. It describes passionate love as intense longing, and it is often accompanied by physiological arousal. These physiological arousals would include, shortness of breath, rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, and more. This theory describes compassionate love as an affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by the physiological arousals. The next theory, designed by Robert Sternberg characterizes love in an interpersonal relationship on three different scales: intimacy, passion, and commitment. This theory shows different stages and types of love, explained as different combinations of the three elements. Some examples of different types of love and how they fit into his theory are; Liking, including only one element of love – intimacy, infatuated love, consisting of only passion, and empty love, commitment lacking intimacy and passion. Sternbergs theory also speaks of the combinations of these elements. Companionate love is a form of love that combines friendship and commitment. This love is generally a personal relation built with someone you share your life with, but with no physical or sexually desire. This is love that is shared by family members and deep friends. Consummate love is Sternbergs most complete love, containing all three elements: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Though popular other beliefs and theories of love have been created. Susan Hendrick developed a Love Attitude Scale which she called Love Styles. She identified six basic theories that people use in their interpersonal relationships: Eros, passionate physical love; Ludus, playful love; Storge, affectionate love developed slowly; Pragma, pragmatic love; Mania, highly emotional love; and Agape, selfless, spiritual love. She found that men tend to be more ludic and manic, where as women more storgic and pragmatic. She also found that relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer. The final scientific approach to love that will be discussed is the main phases of love. Helen Fisher found that there are three main phases of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Her theory stated that a relationship will generally start in lust, strong in passion but weak in the other elements. The relationship will then enter the attraction stage, where the person will concentrate their affection on a single person and fidelity will become important. She then found that at about 30 months this attraction with transition into attachment. At this stage, passions will fade, changing from consummate to companionate love. These are some scientific approaches to love, unbound by border, culture, or religion.
Though there are many different cultures and many different beliefs of love. There are four major theory or beliefs of love from the Chinese, Japanese, the Ancient Greeks, and the Ancient Romans. In the modern Chinese language and culture, several terms are used for the concept of love. Ai, used as a verb means, “I love you” and as a noun, it has come to mean lover. Qing, referring to a feeling or emotion, often indicates love in several terms. Lian, not generally used alone, but instead as part of “being in love”. Confucianism saw Lian as a virtuous benevolent love that should be pursued by all humans. The Chinese have many terms that describe love in very different terms. In Japenese Buddhism, Ai is a passionate caring love. They believe that it can develop into