Essay About Whole Entire World And Entire Address Book

Lysistrata
Essay Preview: Lysistrata
Report this essay
The following is an e-mail going around NYC
> The 1st part is a girls apology email for cheating.
> 2nd is his hilarious reply which was forwarded to his
> entire address book and is now circulating everywhere
> Brad,
> It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable
> right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First,
> let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry,
> and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people
> in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last
> person that I would ever want to wrong in any way.
> There is no excuse at all or anything that happened,
> so I wont even try other than to say all of us had
> WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
> handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve
> it, I can even handle the ugly words that were
> exchanged between us, what I cant handle is thinking
> that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I
> feel like I just went through a horrible break up or
> something. The world looked funny yesterday, I
> couldnt crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs
> I cant listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I
> dont know if you meant everything you said to me, and
> I am hoping that you didnt. I know that I was wrong
> on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is
> something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
> totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play
> such a significant role in my life, I cant imagine my
> days without you. It is totally strange and weird to
> say that, and you could say that my behavior didnt
> reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling
> like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your
> friends think I am a terrible person, because I am
> not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take
> back what happened, but I just want you to know that
> fighting with you was just about the worst thing I
> could have ever imagined. It was right up there with
> one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give
> anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not
> sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks
> that you wont. If not today, then maybe some other
> time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together,
> although I think my sunglasses are still at your
> house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them
> that would be great. I cant even focus or work today,
> I cant eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly
> break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was
> not that and you are not done with me. Please dont
> cut me off, I really dont think I can handle that.
> I am so sorry.
> Elizabeth
> RESPONSE:
> Dear Elizabeth,
> Thank you for your concern. Ill be sure to file it
> away under “L” for “Long-winded diatribes from drunken
> whores I couldnt care less about”.
> You did a stupid thing huh? Nodoing long division
> and forgetting to carry the one is “a stupid thing”;
> Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is “a