The End of a Friendship
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The End of a Friendship
I have often wondered, if I had only heeded that old advice, “dont mix business with pleasure”, if we would still be friends. Ten years ago, I accepted a position working with a very close friend. That decision was unfortunate for both of us. I had always thought I would enjoy working with a friend until it became a reality; then I learned that emotional insecurities and a lack of good communication skills can quickly end a friendship.
Many years ago, Kayla, a very close friend, came to me about a job opening in the bank where she worked. During our conversations about the position, I told her that I could not accept any job for less money than I was currently making. This issue would rear its head again down the road. You need to understand that Kayla had always been a “Type-A” personality and quick to speak her mind. I think this is the main reason I was drawn to her because my personality is at the other end of the spectrum. I was the quiet one who would usually act as the neutralizer in certain situations. Kayla and I had been friends for many years when the job opportunity at her workplace became available. We first met while bowling in a mixed league and hit if off immediately. We were both competition bowlers and began traveling together for tournaments on the weekends. We bowled in two weekly leagues together every fall and another league during the summer months. Now, along with all the normal time we spent together, we were about to add forty more hours a week.
I was very skeptical about the job opportunity simply because I do not care for change, but thought it would be fun to work closely with Kayla, and I was desperate for a more secure position. I was recently divorced, and my current employer offered no retirement plan and less-than-mediocre medical benefits. Kayla was naturally familiar with my personal and work situations, and convinced me that with her recommendation the interview would be a formality. Later, I would learn that the bank paid incentives to current employees when someone they recommended for a position was hired. Kayla received $500, after I completed three months of employment. Now I knew the reason she had pushed me so hard to take the interview. Needless to say, I was offered and accepted the position. This marked the beginning of the end to what had been a great friendship.
The first few months on the new job went well; I was learning a lot of new information and picked up on things very quickly. At some point, I began to notice subtle changes in Kayla, and she would go out of her way to be critical of the smallest of tasks. If I did not fill out a form in exactly the same way she had instructed, she would make a huge example of me. Kayla became distant, and I had no idea why. It seemed that now we only spoke when necessary, and we no longer shared news of our children and family. We traveled together less and less until it was no longer even discussed. She eventually stopped bowling in our leagues, and we had not entered a tournament in quite some time. I remained totally in the dark about what was bothering her, and my non-confrontational nature kept me from pushing her too hard. I did make a few feeble attempts to talk with her, but she would always put me off. Everyone in the office knew she was having relationship problems so I assumed this was the reason for the changes in her demeanor and the way she interacted with me. The pressure between us seemed palpable and it was building.
Things had become very stressful at work, and it was around this time when the incident that severely fractured our relationship occurred. I had decided to take a few days off for a spur-of-the-moment beach trip